Some couples aren't having sex, but they enjoy touching and oral sex. Here are some tips on how to make oral sex more pleasurable for a man, or how to get him to give it to his woman more often?
First and foremost forget about the ''no BJ until he delivers'' theory. Sex shouldn't be about keeping a score. It should be about giving and receiving pleasure and getting as much satisfaction on either end of that scale.)
Tips for you doing it to him:
1. Act like you want to be there. A woman who's performing simply because she has to is the number-one passion killer.
2. Don't bite (unless he asks for it). Keep your teeth covered at all times with your lips.
3. Don't be too rough. Yanking back the foreskin, sucking too hard, pumping up and down like you're trying to draw water from a dry well ... it ain't nice!
4. Educate yourself. My book has pages of instruction on how to do it well. You've made a great start here by asking and getting advice from everyone. The more you find out and read up about, the better.
5. Don't act as if semen is poison. You don't have to swallow, but you don't need to run out of the room either. Don't leave him in the lurch -- switch to using your hand or let him leave a little mess elsewhere on your body.
Tips to get him to do it to you more often:
1. Let him know how much you love it. Give him loads and loads of feedback. Tell him how fantastic he is.
2. Make sure you smell and taste great. Shower beforehand, and watch the garlic consumption. (Yup, it doesn't just show up on your breath.)
3. Ask him to make love to you. Say, ''Honey, I want to feel your tongue on me''. Push his head down. Make it very clear you'd like it more often.
4. Ask him why he doesn't do it as often as you'd like. There might be a good reason, like his tongue gets tired or his neck gets cramped -- all easily fixed by different techniques or different positions.
5. Only when you have tried all of the above and talked about it are you allowed to point out, gently but firmly, that it seems awfully unfair for you to try so hard to give him pleasure if he's not going to return the favor. Again, I don't support making threats, but it is certainly acceptable to point out the unfairness of it all.
Woman-Friendly Products That Enhance Your Sex Life
Want to take your love life from zero to sexy? Then let's talk toys! I'll explain why a sex shop is an even better place to splurge than your most-loved shoe store. Plus, I've compiled a list of woman-friendly favorite products you'll love.
Shopping for sex toys is one of the few areas of sexual experimentation where women are far more adventurous than men. Yes, it's shopping (which explains a lot), and we're suckers for anything shiny, pink and playful, which many sex toys are. But most importantly, for a number of us, the humble vibrator is also our most reliable means of orgasm.
Men, on the other hand, are slightly more apprehensive: They tend to see vibrators as "replacements," rather than supplements, to a sex life. It's true that our buzz buddies do occasionally help us achieve orgasms more efficiently than our partner. However, there are still good reasons why he should be smiling supportively when you walk through the front door with an oddly shaped parcel in a discreet, dark bag (looking like the cat that swallowed the canary). After all, sex toys are, just as the name suggests, toys, things to play with for a bit of fun ‑- and have fun you will. [Editor's note: If your man isn't convinced, Tracey wrote a column just for him.]
Choosing a Sex ShopPick a place to suit your mood: A sleazy shop if you're feeling down and dirty or a "posh" shop if you want to go a swankier route. If you're paranoid that his mother or your nosy big sister will be walking down the street as you head in or out of the store, choose one in an area they're unlikely to visit. If you get caught by friends and they look at all shocked, just laugh and launch into a funny story of what happened in there; it will make them look prudish while you and your partner appear liberated and terribly cool.
Picking Out Your Products
Research suggests that around 10 percent of adults use sex toys regularly, but I'd put that figure much higher. In fact, about 60 percent of my girlfriends own at least one vibrator (not to mention all the other stuff they're not admitting to). You can go online to decide on your toys of choice, of course, if you're shy (and yes, they will arrive in unmarked packaging, not a box that screams "10-inch throbbing dildo!"). But I'd highly recommend that you and your guy visit a reputable sex shop together ‑- even if you just go once ‑- simply because you can hold and touch the products. It's also a naughty, sexy bonding experience that might turn you both on more than you can imagine! But since both ways of shopping can be very intimidating and overwhelming, I've compiled a list of favorite things to get you started:
Vibrators: Every woman's best friends, vibrators come in all shapes and sizes, from tiny buzzing "lipsticks" to enormous, penis-shaped devices. Narrow the selection by deciding what you want from yours: If it's for masturbation and you prefer penetration with clitoral stimulation, go for one of the "Rabbits," as featured in Sex and the City, a penis-shaped vibrator with a clitoral attachment. "Wand" vibrators, small cylindrical vibrators that you hold against the clitoris, are also great and ideal for use during intercourse. For more powerful vibration on the clitoris, opt for one that looks like a back massager, large with a big rounded head, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand.
The small, hard plastic ones offer better vibration, while the jellylike rubber or silicone varieties have weaker vibration but feel nicer. Make sure you get one with variable speed. Test how quiet it is, and be sure it's waterproof if you want to use it in the bath or shower. You'll also find "gadget"-type vibrators, ones with and without remote controls that are disguised as everyday objects. Such models are fun ‑- but only in addition to, not in place of staple purchases.
Dildos: These are basically imitation penises that come in a range of sizes. The difference between a dildo and a vibrator is that dildos don't vibrate. Usually made of rubber, they're sometimes "S" shaped for G-spot stimulation. If you like the feeling of fullness, they're good to insert during oral sex. You'll also see strap-on versions called harnesses. By attaching them to your body, you can transform female into male instantly: the ultimate gender-bender. These are handy for lesbians who like penetration, for men who are into anal penetration and for fantasy role-play. Some harnesses have a second dildo which fits inside the vagina or anus.
Nipple Clamps: S & M devotees adore these because they create the sensation of pinching and pain. The rest of us look at them, think Ouch! and move back to the warm, fuzzy vibrator section.
Pelvic Floor Toners: The more toned your vaginal muscles are, the better sex will be for both of you since you'll be able to grip his penis tighter. You can rhythmically squeeze the muscles, doing repetitive sets called Kegel exercises without inserting one of these gadgets. But having something to grip increases the odds that you're doing the exercises correctly. Most pelvic floor toners resemble tiny barbells. They're highly recommended after childbirth but handy for anyone, really.
Penis Rings: He slips one of these rubber, leather or metal rings onto a flaccid or semierect penis. Because the ring is tight, it traps blood in the penis, helping maintain a stronger erection for longer. If he's a little on the, ahem, small side, he'll probably like it because they make the penis look and feel bigger. The only problem is, men with smaller penises tend to be premature ejaculators (not very fair, but it's because the penis head has roughly the same amount of nerves, and they're more concentrated over a smaller surface). So consider yourself warned: Since penis rings tend to increase sensitivity, he could orgasm sooner than usual. (Gain some, lose some.) If you want to try one, opt for rubber first (leather is more expensive and metal a bit scary), but make sure it will fit snugly around the penis. Also, don't leave it on for more than 20 minutes, and whatever you do, remove it before you snuggle up for the night.
Vibrating Penis Rings: These are generally made of rubber and have little vibrators attached for clitoral stimulation. In order for them to work effectively he should use a grinding, circular thrusting motion during intercourse, rather than the traditional in-out motion, to keep the little vibrator in as much contact with the clitoris as possible. Despite the extra effort required, they're well worth a try ‑- and inexpensive as well.
Blindfolds: You know what these are and exactly what to do with them! You can make a blindfold out of anything, but fancy ones are good for role-play and dress-up.
Whips and Riding Crops: All used for spanking and not nearly as threatening as you'd imagine, many of these make menacing sounds but land with a whisper-soft touch ‑- perfect for role-play. Riding crops, for example, come in pretty colors, but with a serious expression on your face, you'll be the one in charge.
S & M Gear: Those dangerous-looking studded collars, leather outfits and masks are sometimes enough to send people back out the sex shop door. But if you're intrigued rather than intimidated, start off with some handcuffs or a studded collar. If that really does it for you, then work your way up to the complete leather get-up and serious bondage gear. It can cost a fortune.
Dress-Up Clothes: Nurses' outfits, baby-doll lingerie, one-piece catsuits... They're straight out of the '80s and tons of fun. Be warned, though: You'll pay through the nose for them in a sex shop, and they're not very well made. But if you've got the cash and you like the look of them, why not?
Porn and Erotica: Porn has come a long way since Debbie Does Dallas. While traditional male porn still dominates most video sections, there are many films made by women for women (read: smart, fun and clever).
Shopping for sex toys is one of the few areas of sexual experimentation where women are far more adventurous than men. Yes, it's shopping (which explains a lot), and we're suckers for anything shiny, pink and playful, which many sex toys are. But most importantly, for a number of us, the humble vibrator is also our most reliable means of orgasm.
Men, on the other hand, are slightly more apprehensive: They tend to see vibrators as "replacements," rather than supplements, to a sex life. It's true that our buzz buddies do occasionally help us achieve orgasms more efficiently than our partner. However, there are still good reasons why he should be smiling supportively when you walk through the front door with an oddly shaped parcel in a discreet, dark bag (looking like the cat that swallowed the canary). After all, sex toys are, just as the name suggests, toys, things to play with for a bit of fun ‑- and have fun you will. [Editor's note: If your man isn't convinced, Tracey wrote a column just for him.]
Choosing a Sex ShopPick a place to suit your mood: A sleazy shop if you're feeling down and dirty or a "posh" shop if you want to go a swankier route. If you're paranoid that his mother or your nosy big sister will be walking down the street as you head in or out of the store, choose one in an area they're unlikely to visit. If you get caught by friends and they look at all shocked, just laugh and launch into a funny story of what happened in there; it will make them look prudish while you and your partner appear liberated and terribly cool.
Picking Out Your Products
Research suggests that around 10 percent of adults use sex toys regularly, but I'd put that figure much higher. In fact, about 60 percent of my girlfriends own at least one vibrator (not to mention all the other stuff they're not admitting to). You can go online to decide on your toys of choice, of course, if you're shy (and yes, they will arrive in unmarked packaging, not a box that screams "10-inch throbbing dildo!"). But I'd highly recommend that you and your guy visit a reputable sex shop together ‑- even if you just go once ‑- simply because you can hold and touch the products. It's also a naughty, sexy bonding experience that might turn you both on more than you can imagine! But since both ways of shopping can be very intimidating and overwhelming, I've compiled a list of favorite things to get you started:
Vibrators: Every woman's best friends, vibrators come in all shapes and sizes, from tiny buzzing "lipsticks" to enormous, penis-shaped devices. Narrow the selection by deciding what you want from yours: If it's for masturbation and you prefer penetration with clitoral stimulation, go for one of the "Rabbits," as featured in Sex and the City, a penis-shaped vibrator with a clitoral attachment. "Wand" vibrators, small cylindrical vibrators that you hold against the clitoris, are also great and ideal for use during intercourse. For more powerful vibration on the clitoris, opt for one that looks like a back massager, large with a big rounded head, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand.
The small, hard plastic ones offer better vibration, while the jellylike rubber or silicone varieties have weaker vibration but feel nicer. Make sure you get one with variable speed. Test how quiet it is, and be sure it's waterproof if you want to use it in the bath or shower. You'll also find "gadget"-type vibrators, ones with and without remote controls that are disguised as everyday objects. Such models are fun ‑- but only in addition to, not in place of staple purchases.
Dildos: These are basically imitation penises that come in a range of sizes. The difference between a dildo and a vibrator is that dildos don't vibrate. Usually made of rubber, they're sometimes "S" shaped for G-spot stimulation. If you like the feeling of fullness, they're good to insert during oral sex. You'll also see strap-on versions called harnesses. By attaching them to your body, you can transform female into male instantly: the ultimate gender-bender. These are handy for lesbians who like penetration, for men who are into anal penetration and for fantasy role-play. Some harnesses have a second dildo which fits inside the vagina or anus.
Nipple Clamps: S & M devotees adore these because they create the sensation of pinching and pain. The rest of us look at them, think Ouch! and move back to the warm, fuzzy vibrator section.
Pelvic Floor Toners: The more toned your vaginal muscles are, the better sex will be for both of you since you'll be able to grip his penis tighter. You can rhythmically squeeze the muscles, doing repetitive sets called Kegel exercises without inserting one of these gadgets. But having something to grip increases the odds that you're doing the exercises correctly. Most pelvic floor toners resemble tiny barbells. They're highly recommended after childbirth but handy for anyone, really.
Penis Rings: He slips one of these rubber, leather or metal rings onto a flaccid or semierect penis. Because the ring is tight, it traps blood in the penis, helping maintain a stronger erection for longer. If he's a little on the, ahem, small side, he'll probably like it because they make the penis look and feel bigger. The only problem is, men with smaller penises tend to be premature ejaculators (not very fair, but it's because the penis head has roughly the same amount of nerves, and they're more concentrated over a smaller surface). So consider yourself warned: Since penis rings tend to increase sensitivity, he could orgasm sooner than usual. (Gain some, lose some.) If you want to try one, opt for rubber first (leather is more expensive and metal a bit scary), but make sure it will fit snugly around the penis. Also, don't leave it on for more than 20 minutes, and whatever you do, remove it before you snuggle up for the night.
Vibrating Penis Rings: These are generally made of rubber and have little vibrators attached for clitoral stimulation. In order for them to work effectively he should use a grinding, circular thrusting motion during intercourse, rather than the traditional in-out motion, to keep the little vibrator in as much contact with the clitoris as possible. Despite the extra effort required, they're well worth a try ‑- and inexpensive as well.
Blindfolds: You know what these are and exactly what to do with them! You can make a blindfold out of anything, but fancy ones are good for role-play and dress-up.
Whips and Riding Crops: All used for spanking and not nearly as threatening as you'd imagine, many of these make menacing sounds but land with a whisper-soft touch ‑- perfect for role-play. Riding crops, for example, come in pretty colors, but with a serious expression on your face, you'll be the one in charge.
S & M Gear: Those dangerous-looking studded collars, leather outfits and masks are sometimes enough to send people back out the sex shop door. But if you're intrigued rather than intimidated, start off with some handcuffs or a studded collar. If that really does it for you, then work your way up to the complete leather get-up and serious bondage gear. It can cost a fortune.
Dress-Up Clothes: Nurses' outfits, baby-doll lingerie, one-piece catsuits... They're straight out of the '80s and tons of fun. Be warned, though: You'll pay through the nose for them in a sex shop, and they're not very well made. But if you've got the cash and you like the look of them, why not?
Porn and Erotica: Porn has come a long way since Debbie Does Dallas. While traditional male porn still dominates most video sections, there are many films made by women for women (read: smart, fun and clever).
Largest Human Trafficking Ring Ever Busted By Greek police
Greek police said on Monday that it had succeeded in dismantling one of the largest and best organized rings in the people-trafficking and sex trade after a two-month investigation that culminated in a huge police operation on Sunday.
According to Greek News Agency ANA-MPA report, police carried out simultaneous raids on 34 different locations in Athens and arrested 11 suspected members of the ring, eight men and three women of different nationalities that included Greeks, Moldavians, Kazakhs and Ukrainians.
Police also arrested 62 men and women from Greece, Albania, Poland, Armenia, Romania, the Czech Republic, Nigeria and Venezuela that are accused of facilitating vice in others and prostitution.
Through collaboration with Interpol, Europol and police links between Greece and other countries, a further two people were arrested in the Ukraine and another seven members of the gang are wanted, including five Greeks, one Russian and one Moldavian.
Greek Police launched their investigation two months earlier. A total of 152 people were detained for questioning during Sunday's raids, while those placed under arrest are to appear before a public prosecutor on Monday.
According to Greek News Agency ANA-MPA report, police carried out simultaneous raids on 34 different locations in Athens and arrested 11 suspected members of the ring, eight men and three women of different nationalities that included Greeks, Moldavians, Kazakhs and Ukrainians.
Police also arrested 62 men and women from Greece, Albania, Poland, Armenia, Romania, the Czech Republic, Nigeria and Venezuela that are accused of facilitating vice in others and prostitution.
Through collaboration with Interpol, Europol and police links between Greece and other countries, a further two people were arrested in the Ukraine and another seven members of the gang are wanted, including five Greeks, one Russian and one Moldavian.
Greek Police launched their investigation two months earlier. A total of 152 people were detained for questioning during Sunday's raids, while those placed under arrest are to appear before a public prosecutor on Monday.
Glorified Prostitution In the Guise Of Overstayers' Marriage
With tens of thousands of overstayers in the Kingdom, marriages between Saudis, expatriates and overstayers is inevitable. However, such marriages come with problems and many are seemingly a front for prostitution as this reporter investigates.
"A friend of mine met and fell in love with a Southeast Asian overstayer. They ended up marrying, although, of course, it wasn't an official marriage recognized by the Saudi authorities. It was just a nikah," said Muhammad Al-Sayed, an Egyptian expatriate, speaking about a friend.
"Problems began after a year, when they had their first child. They couldn't register him, since the mother was living illegally in the Kingdom," he said, adding, that being unregistered, the father could not even take the baby to a government hospital.
"Since his income is pretty low he couldn't bear medical expenses at a private hospital. This caused a lot of tension between both husband and wife, and finally they divorced. The wife walked out and the baby stayed with the dad," he said, adding that the dad tried looking after the baby and finally, exasperated at not being able to cope, abandoned him in front of a mosque after dawn prayers. One Saudi citizen, who asked not to be named, fell into a relationship with an African overstayer, who became pregnant. The couple then married. After the baby was born, the Saudi man divorced the woman and left the child with her. The woman then married another man with whom she had three children.
Since the family was unregistered, they experienced a lot of problems. The parents finally placed the children in an orphanage run by the Ministry of Social Affairs.
In order to know more about these types of marriages, this reporter decided to enter the world of marrying an overstayer. Dressed sharply in a thobe, finding a matchmaker in Makkah was not a strenuous task.
In Al-Mansour Street - a common thoroughfare used by car owners to pick up passengers - I stopped to pick up a Southeast Asian expatriate looking for a ride.
I plucked up some courage and asked, "I'm looking for a non-Saudi wife. Do you think you could help?" He hesitated and apologized saying he was not a matchmaker. "It's a good thing. God will reward you," I said. After some gentle persuasion the man agreed and asked me to meet him the next day at a certain location in Makkah.
The following day, I arrived at the previously agreed place. A woman came and asked, "Are you Khalid?" I had told the man my name was Khalid and so I said yes. The woman then climbed into the back of my car and told me that the Southeast Asian man had asked her to come and see me.
"Why do you want to marry a foreigner so urgently?" she asked. In reply, I told her that dowries to marry Saudi women are very high. "The dowry will be SAR 21,000 (approximately USD $5,600) and you will also have to cover expenses for the marriage registrar (ma'zun), which is an additional SAR 5,000," she said.
I declined her offer for marriage saying it was too much. "I could marry a Saudi woman for that much," I told her.
On her way out the woman said, "There is another type of marriage, which is much cheaper. But you will only be able to meet your wife for an hour each day. You'll have to fix the time with her. You're not allowed to ask her where she lives or where she goes."
Intrigued, I continued listening. "This type of marriage will cost you only SAR 5,000 (approximately USD $1,333.35) and SAR 1,000 (approximately USD $266.67), each month for her expenses," she added. I agreed to the offer and agreed to meet her the next day. The next day the woman arrived, accompanied by the bride - called Reem - and a man, who claimed to be a ma'zun. The woman asked me to come to her home but I suggested doing the marriage in a public place. They agreed and the marriage contract was written.
Surprisingly, the ma'zun did not even ask for my ID. He simply registered my name (Khalid) and wrote out a marriage contract. He asked us if we agreed to the marriage and congratulated us.
The man then asked if I have any conditions. "Faithfulness is the most important thing to me," I replied innocently. They smiled at each other, and at my naivete.
He then asked the woman if she had any conditions. "I live with my family and I cannot spend the night outside. So we can meet at my friend's apartment and do what we want to do there, without informing my family," she said. I agreed.
The ma'zun then asked me for the dowry. I told him I did not have the money with me at the time and that I would bring the money next week. I then drove the group to the Al-Mansour District. I promised to meet them the next day, but I didn't bother turning up, I had seen enough.
A few days later, I decided to marry another overstayer from the same district. With the help of some overstayers I made contact with a matchmaker, who asked for only SAR 2,000 (approximately USD $533.34), and some time to find me a bride.
A few days later the matchmaker - an African woman - took me to the Sharea Ghourab District of Makkah. When we arrived in the area, she asked me to park my car and proceed on foot. Walking through narrow alleyways I saw a part of Makkah that I had never imagined existed.
Having climbed a steep mountain, we entered an old house. In the main lounge was seated a Nigerian man. The matchmaker spoke to the man in a foreign language at which the man nodded and left the room to return a short while later with three women. He then told me to choose whichever one I wanted. The first woman was a Yemeni national called Abeer, the second was an Ethiopian woman called Safiya and the third was a Nigerian woman called Safi. All three were aged in their 30s. "Abeer is divorced, Safiya is married to a man from Ethiopia and Safi is married on Mesyar to five men here, who visit her according to a fixed time schedule," said the matchmaker.
"The dowry for anyone of them is only SAR 2,000. On the day you visit, the woman will be ready. So you choose the one you want," she added. "I wouldn't mind marrying all of them for that much," I said, adding that I needed to go to an ATM machine to get some money for the dowry. The woman led me out and when I got to my car I drove off leaving her standing.
It does seem that such marriages involving overstayers are only a cover for prostitution. Even sincere marriages with overstayers only end in tragedy with the children paying the price for their parents' mistakes.
Speaking about finding abandoned children in front of mosques, Maj. Abdul Muhsin Al-Mayman, spokesman for Makkah police, said, "These kids are immediately transferred to hospitals for a health checkup and then placed in the care of the Ministry of Social Affairs." He added that marriages need to be officially registered and that marriages with overstayers, according to Saudi law, are illegal since overstayers are not recognized by the law as being able to live and reside in the Kingdom.
Where Naomi lay Disappointed Her Parents
NAUGHTY Apprentice Naomi Lay last night told of her anquish when her mum and dad found out in the News of the World about her sexy video romp.
Speaking of her shame about making the explicit movie, she said: "My parents choked on their cornflakes when they read about the tape. It was very unpleasant. But what happened has happened—I can't dwell on it."
The filthy footage—filmed over three days in 2004—shows blonde Naomi, 26, in kinky positions and enjoying oral sex with a former lover.
But she says says the Pammi Anderson-type tape leaking out has actually strengthened her relationship with present boyfriend Mathew Hahn.
She said: "He is very proud of me regardless. It's not a problem. We're very happy together."
Now Naomi plans to take legal action to ban the tape, which has become the talk of the internet.
But she says she has no hard feelings after being fired by by Sir Alan Sugar in The Apprentice this week.
She said: "I think he is a very wise businessman, but Sir Alan and I are massive opposites. I'm quite a fluffy person and he's definitely not."
Naomi, from Cornwall, also revealed she wanted to slap the show's biggest bitch, Katie. She fumed: "She called me a dog. At one point she even compared me to a Labrador!"
Michael Jackson's Child Porn Collection For Sale
Michael Jackson is trying to stop an auction of his former possessions - which are alleged to include paintings of naked boys.
The troubled pop star has taken out a temporary restraining order against Richard Altomare to block the planned sale, arguing he is the rightful owner.
Altmore, Chairman of Universal Express, claims he received 20,000 items from Jackson's former business partner Henry Vacaro as part of a bankruptcy case last year, and they include the "salacious" art pieces as well as "some of his whitening creams, [and] some sex aids".
He threatens Jackson's legal action could prove counterproductive.
He is quoted in the Metro as saying, "This stuff we have kept from the auction out of respect to Mr Jackson. The guy has troubles.
"We all have skeletons in the closet and, if Michael hadn't put up a fuss, I might have quietly, discreetly, just given it to him. I've already been offered $50 million for it privately."
The auction is due to take place at the Hard Rock Hotel and in Las Vegas on 30 May.
In an unusual and unique interpertation of the law criminalizing child pornography, artistic works, art or artist interpretations of minors in nude or sexual situations may be construed as 'art' and thus not - necessarily - criminal.
Apparently the mega-star, King of Pop and repeatedly acused child molestor Michael Jackson is willing to test these boundries in the name of art - not to mention the sexual aids he seeks to protect.
The welfare of Jackson's chilren has been an issue since his first child molestation trial. Jackson choose to live in Bahrain and is rumored to have converted to Islam.
The pop star has been photographed in female Muslim garb also raising controversy.
12 US States Not Safe For Your Family
That's what state and city rankings publisher Morgan Quitno Press reveals in its annual list of the most dangerous states to live in.
States are compared against the national average for six dastardly crimes, each carrying equal weight.
No. 1 -- Nevada
Nevada may not have the highest murder rate, but its crime rankings across the board offer the highest odds of a crime against you and your family.
Rankings by Crime
Murder: 3
Rape: 11
Robbery: 2
Assault: 13
Burglary: 7
Motor Vehicle Theft: 1
No. 2 -- New Mexico
New Mexico's coiffed tourist image of open desert spaces, earth-conscious living and colorful hot-air balloons belie a serious crime problem in this border state.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 6
Rape: 2
Robbery: 25
Assault: 2
Burglary: 2
Motor Vehicle Theft: 14
No. 3 -- Arizona
Another border state tops the list of Most Dangerous States; there's more to fear here than black widow spiders and scorpions.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 5
Rape: 24
Robbery: 15
Assault: 16
Burglary: 11
Motor Vehicle Theft: 2
No. 4 -- Maryland
Hugging the nation's high-crime capital, struggling to revitalize Baltimore and growing its gambling industry, Maryland has the highest murder and robbery rate.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 1
Rape: 45
Robbery: 1
Assault: 8
Burglary: 26
Motor Vehicle Theft: 6
No. 5 -- Tennessee
Tennessee residents might sing about love for country and neighbor, but lag behind in showing it. The state earns the No. 2 slot for most assaults. Maybe that's just how country boys work out their issues.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 9
Rape: 20
Robbery: 7
Assault: 2
Burglary: 4
Motor Vehicle Theft: 13
No. 6 -- South Carolina
Whatever happened to Southern hospitality? Sunny South Carolina is charged with the highest assault problem in the Most Dangerous States list.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 6
Rape: 10
Robbery: 17
Assault: 1
Burglary: 6
Motor Vehicle Theft: 19
No. 7 -- Alaska
Alaska is plagued with having the highest number of rape cases. There could be a correlation with alcohol abuse, also known to plague the state.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 24
Rape: 1
Robbery: 34
Assault: 5
Burglary: 28
Motor Vehicle Theft: 18
No. 8 -- Florida
It has been commented on a city-data.com forum that Florida crime is not concentrated in one area, but rather spread across the state.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 23
Rape: 19
Robbery: 6
Assault: 4
Burglary: 13
Motor Vehicle Theft: 12
No. 9 -- California
Even though California makes the top 12 list for Most Dangerous States, the Center on Juvenile and Criminal Justice states that crime rates in California have fallen over the last two decades.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 10
Rape: 38
Robbery: 5
Assault: 17
Burglary: 23
Motor Vehicle Theft: 5
No. 10 -- Louisiana
Tied with Maryland for the state with the highest murder rate, according to the Southern Digest, Louisiana also has the second highest number of black homicides.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 1
Rape: 28
Robbery: 21
Assault: 6
Burglary: 16
Motor Vehicle Theft: 25
No. 11 -- Michigan
In a city-data.com Michigan forum, it is noted that the east side of Michigan, which is also where lower economic areas are, carries the brunt of the state's crime.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 16
Rape: 3
Robbery: 18
Assault: 12
Burglary: 22
Motor Vehicle Theft: 10
No. 12 -- Texas
After seeing a decline in crime in the last decade, some concerned Texans (on Topix.net) question whether a rise in the past couple years is related to the Katrina disaster.
Rankings in Crime
Murder: 14
Rape: 18
Robbery: 9
Assault: 15
Burglary: 8
Motor Vehicle Theft: 15
The Most Wicked Issue in American Politics
John Neffinger
You might have thought the first abortion decision rendered by our new Supreme Court (Opus Dei edition) would generate a firestorm of commentary, especially if it might significantly limit late-term abortion rights.
Instead, the reaction to the recent decision upholding the "Partial-Birth" abortion ban has been decidedly muted. A handful of writers tackled some of the decision's implications (Jill Filipovic had a good piece in HuffPost the next day). But the bitterest voice to be heard was that of Justice Ginsburg herself, who called it "alarming."
So why did no one seem alarmed? For starters, it had been a rough week. Everywhere you looked there were images from the carnival of violence at Virginia Tech -- the shooter's face twisted in hatred, him posing with his guns and hammer (hammer?), diagrams and reenactments of what it must have been like in those classrooms.
But I suspect there's another reason we hesitated to jump back into the breach. Reading about the abortion decision, it was hard not to think: "Oh no, not this again." The issue of abortion rights is just more upsetting, more depressing and meaner than any other issue in American politics. Nothing else quite compares.
As horrible as the Virginia Tech shooting was, we could at least all share our grief. True, the inevitable gun control debate followed: should bad guys be disarmed or should good guys be armed to shoot first? But both sides at least agree that non-threatening innocents should not get shot.
The conflict over abortion has no bottom -- no matter how deep you dig, there's no place both sides can come together and recognize one another's humanity. In part, that's because of the biology: in an unwanted pregnancy, the woman's interest is for the fetus to cease to exist entirely, while the fetus' presumed interest is for the woman to endure weeks of sickness and unwelcome bodily transformation, followed by many hours of incredible pain... followed by years of hard work, emotional strain, expense, and responsibility. As long as you have people eager to speak on behalf of a fetus as if it was a whole person, those are some seriously irreconcilable differences.
You might think that both sides could at least agree on preventing unwanted pregnancies. But that's where things get weird. It turns out the hard-core anti-choice folks don't actually care so much about preventing fetal suffering: Despite all the studies proving that improving birth control access and teaching adolescents about sex reduces unwanted pregnancies, serious "Pro-lifers" oppose these ideas, and vigorously.
So what are they after? Apparently, the heart of the matter for hard-core anti-choice folks is that sex should only be for making babies. That means it's only for married people, and kids have no business knowing about it. That part of their vision has some appeal in our dizzyingly hypersexualized culture, as unrealistic as it is. But the other corollary is that all pregnancies should be carried to term, either as a blessed gift to a happy family... or as divine punishment for a loose woman.
I doubt that New York Times columnist David Brooks is among those who secretly yearn to outlaw premarital sex, but he did celebrate the Court's decision with a paean to the fetus in last Sunday's paper. His piece lovingly detailed the science on fetal brain cell growth and eye development and what not, and then closed with a call for a 'sensible' approach to abortion -- featuring parental consent requirements for minors. The thing is, to come up with a sensible compromise, you first need to make sense of both the positions you're compromising between.
From a broad public-policy view, parental choice laws make no particular sense. As a general rule, children should not be having children because they are not prepared to raise children. Do we really want laws that make it more difficult to keep children from having children? If abortion is allowed for anyone, doesn't it make the most sense for unhappily pregnant teens? And since a teen generally does not need her parents' consent to have a kid, why exactly should she need their consent not to?
But this debate does not happen in the realm of logic. Parental consent laws appeal to parents' primal fear that their kids are having sex and getting in trouble and they're the last to know. Debates on the issue typically invoke the image of a solid middle-class family with a rebellious teen girl who falls in with a bad crowd and needs to be set straight. And that's about where the thinking stops.
Sometimes that's the reality of teen pregnancy: a loving, understanding family, and a kid who either made some stupid decisions or had birth control fail them. And in some of those cases, a parental consent law might be just the thing to nudge the reluctant teen to have a much-needed heart-to-heart with her parents.
Of course most teens in that rosy scenario will turn to a trusted parent anyway. But what happens when the scenario is less rosy? Tolstoy said every happy family is the same but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way: that makes for a lot of heavy issues for this law to get mixed up in. What if the parents are abusive? What if they choose to punish their daughter for her misbehavior by withholding consent, and maybe throwing her out of the house? Or what if they just would have preferred not to know?
Then there's the scenario nearest to the hearts of anti-choice advocates: what if the parents are anti-choice? Should they be able to force their daughter to give birth? Imagine the decision resting with a pregnant teen's father. He has never voluntarily endured anything as painful as childbirth (unless he's undergone elite military training to resist torture, or maybe starred in a Jackass movie). Should he have the right to force that on his daughter, when she wants to have an abortion and get on with her life?
Many years ago, a friend of mine had a condom break on her with a new boyfriend and ended up pregnant. Although I do think it is vitally important for stories like these to be shared, the particulars of her story are not mine to tell. Suffice it to say that the decision-maker in her family believed strongly that abortion was a sin. Thankfully, nobody had passed any "sensible" parental consent laws back then, and my friend, while deeply upset and chastened by the ordeal, ended her pregnancy safely and legally and finished school. Today she is professionally successful, happily married, and a loving mother.
I wonder what David Brooks would say about a situation like my friend's. Or what Justice Kennedy would say, for that matter. Might they surprise us, take a fresh look at the issue, even a little? Perhaps, perhaps not.
What we do know is this debate will be won or lost on whether people empathize with the developing fetus or the pregnant woman (or girl). And as long as it's all about the fetus, as long as women's stories are still not being heard, women (and the women and men who love them) lose.
Latin America On The March To Stop Violence Against Women
Rallies, demonstrations in the streets, conferences, cultural events - yesterday's International Women's Day commemorations around the world took many different forms. In Latin America, women's-rights activists and their supporters called special attention to various forms of violence against women that continue to prevail in many countries in the region.
Among the alarming statistics: "In Guatemala [last year], 603 women died as a result of violence [against them], a figure that represents ten percent of all murders in the country.. ..In Chile, according to official data, seven out of every ten women has been.. ..beaten or psychologically maltreated."
A just-released report by the Washington Office on Latin America, a Washington-based, independent organization that promotes human rights and democracy, focuses on conditions many women face in Mexico and Guatemala. In those countries, the WOLA study points outs, "The absence of a functioning criminal justice system has contributed profoundly to a continuum of violent acts against women. The failure to act is perpetuating a culture of impunity, and consequently sending the message that it is acceptable to hit, rape and murder women."
A WOLA representative said in conjunction with the release of the new report: "The police and justice institutions in Mexico and Guatemala are weak, ineffective and often corrupt. These flaws are compounded by gender biases within the institutions, which act to systematically silence and discriminate against women."
In Mexico, the national congress has created a new law aimed at guaranteeing women "a life free of violence." The problem is, its critics say, that it doesn't put forth "specific sanctions against aggressive behavior" toward women. In the congress's lower house, legislators on the left have called for swift justice and tough punishment for those who sexually abuse, torture or lock up women, as well as "pederasts and their accomplices in positions of power." Those legislators have described the murders of women in the border city of Ciudad Juárez - almost 500 since 1993 - as "an open wound that will never heal." They're sick and tired of lawbreakers getting away with impunity.
Mexican President Felipe Calderón Hinojosa, in a public appearance that mixed International Women's Day celebrations with politics, called for a change in the nation's penal code to make life sentences mandatory for those who abuse or enslave women (example: in forced-prostitution rings).
In Chile, Michelle Bachelet, the country's first female president - and a former victim of torture under the U.S.-backed, right-wing dictatorship of General Augusto Pinochet - told International Women's Day celebrants that "[e]quality is not a dream" and that "women have arrived to stay in Chilean politics." Nevertheless, she acknowledged, "We're still not a society of men and women who are equal in rights and opportunities."
In an official statement issued to mark yesterday's big day for the women of the world, the United Nations' new secretary-general, South Korea's Ban Ki-moon, observed: "In almost all countries, women continue to be underrepresented in decision-making positions. Women's work continues to be undervalued, underpaid or not paid at all. Out of more than 100 million children who are not in school, the majority are girls. Out of more than 800 million adults who cannot read, the majority are women. Worst of all, violence against women and girls continues unabated in every continent, country and culture. It takes a devastating toll on women's lives, on their families and on society as a whole. Most societies prohibit such violence - yet the reality is that too often, it is covered up or tacitly condoned."
Chinese Police Nabs 21-year-old Student For Operating Porn Web Sites
Chinese police this week said they had arrested a 21-year-old student for running five pornographic Web sites with 210,000 registered users, amid a nationwide crackdown on online pornography that authorities say is "perverting China's young minds."
The student, only identified as Zhu, was detained in the eastern province of Shandong on April 12, after he was suspected of operating five porn sites, containing almost 170,000 pornographic images and obscene movie clips, the Ministry of Public Security announced.
About 210,000 people had signed up to the porn sites Zhu allegedly operated - "Demon's Island", "Global Beauty Pictures", "Community of Bloom", "Moon Alliance" and "Pretty Vines", the police said.
Police also announced on Thursday that they had closed 1,450 porn Web sites and deleted more than 30,000 obscene messages online since the government launched a nationwide campaign to curb the spread of pornography on the Internet on April 12.
Nearly 30 serious porn cases were cracked, the police said, but did not give more details.
The campaign, expected to last six months, will target illegal online activities such as distributing pornographic materials and organizing cyber strip shows, and purge the Web of sexually-explicit images, stories, and audio and video clips, according to Zhang Xinfeng, vice minister of public security.
China had 137 million Internet users at the end of 2006, with most of being young people. The current massive campaign was launched as the government believes the young people need to be protected from negative online influences.
A report by the Beijing Reformatory for Juvenile Delinquents said 33.5 percent of its detainees were influenced by violent online games or erotic Web sites when they committed crimes such as robbery and rape.
Irish Paedophiles Attacking The Philippines For Child Prostitution
Campaigning Irish priest Fr Shay Cullen warns that the Philippines is becoming the number one destination for Irish paedophiles who prey on the country's estimated 60,000 children caught up in the sex industry.
And he warns that what happens on the faraway streets of a Philippine shanty town will eventually impact on small-town Ireland.
"The abusers do not leave their habits and desires at the airport. These paedophiles come to whet their appetite, have their fill and return with their desires to molest children greater than ever," he says.
The sordid 'industry' in the Philippines involves everything from child slavery to children as young as 10 being sold as sex slaves.
Fr Cullen, who was nominated three times for the Nobel Peace Prize, has been fighting the Philippine authorities for 40 years to stamp out the business. Now, after much success, he finds himself confronting Irish sex tourists on a regular basis.
"There are sex tourists from Ireland, we don't know how many - but they are here - we bump into them from time to time. You have lots of paedophiles who hide out here: Irish guys, German, Swedish."
According to the priest, the South-east Asian tsunami wiped out hundreds of sex resorts. The sex tourists are now flocking to the Philippines, which was spared.
Angeles City, which is two hours' drive from Manila, is the home of the Philippines sex industry. Thousands of sex tourists from all over the world, including Ireland, visit the place every week in search of cheap sex.
According to Fr Cullen, many of the tourists go in search of children younger than 12, of which there is a plentiful supply.
"Fourteen-year-old girls living with 70-year-old foreign men as sex comfort girls is so common that the government officials wonder what all the fuss is about," Father Cullen says.
And he warns that what happens on the faraway streets of a Philippine shanty town will eventually impact on small-town Ireland.
"The abusers do not leave their habits and desires at the airport. These paedophiles come to whet their appetite, have their fill and return with their desires to molest children greater than ever," he says.
The sordid 'industry' in the Philippines involves everything from child slavery to children as young as 10 being sold as sex slaves.
Fr Cullen, who was nominated three times for the Nobel Peace Prize, has been fighting the Philippine authorities for 40 years to stamp out the business. Now, after much success, he finds himself confronting Irish sex tourists on a regular basis.
"There are sex tourists from Ireland, we don't know how many - but they are here - we bump into them from time to time. You have lots of paedophiles who hide out here: Irish guys, German, Swedish."
According to the priest, the South-east Asian tsunami wiped out hundreds of sex resorts. The sex tourists are now flocking to the Philippines, which was spared.
Angeles City, which is two hours' drive from Manila, is the home of the Philippines sex industry. Thousands of sex tourists from all over the world, including Ireland, visit the place every week in search of cheap sex.
According to Fr Cullen, many of the tourists go in search of children younger than 12, of which there is a plentiful supply.
"Fourteen-year-old girls living with 70-year-old foreign men as sex comfort girls is so common that the government officials wonder what all the fuss is about," Father Cullen says.
Child Prostitution A Million Dollar Business In Ukraine
Juan Miguel Petit, the Commission's Special Rapporteur on the sale of children, child prostitution and child pornography reported that the flourishing of child prostitution and trafficking of children are the great problems in Ukraine.
According to UNO press-service, 10% of victims of human trafficking are children at the age of 13- 18. The half of these children is sent in neighboring countries, especially in Russia.
¡§The children in ¡§across-the-border¡¨ sale are exploited in street trade, in house service, in farming, as dancers, waiters or waitresses, or even in sexual service. More particularly they become dancers, beggars or they give sexual service,¡¨ the report gives.
The report says that in many cases children become objects of trafficking inside the country. Dealers on children trafficking decoy their victims in debt bondage. They make children to work off the costs of traveling, meals and dwelling. The possibility to tear away from this debt bondage is happened very seldom.
The Commission's Special Rapporteur said that nobody helps these victims either abroad, or after their returning.
Juan Miguel Petit said that Ukrainian child prostitution has increased for recent years. According to the research of Ukrainian Institute of Social Investigation, there are 11% of children at the age of 12-15 and 20% of children at the age of 16-17 among women who are engaged in sexual service. Petit pointed out that there are even 10 years old girls who are involved in prostitution.
The UNO chairman worries about the way the procurers, trafficking dealers and producers of pornography use children. He learned from mass media and different booklets for tourists that there are many announcements about weddings and meetings which are not controlled. He emphasized that with visa free entrance for majority of west countries Ukraine is turning into an open country for sex-tourism. The Commission's Special Rapporteur apprehends that there are many juveniles, exploited in this spreading activity.
Petit said that Ukraine needs to form a new model of children protection; otherwise this problem will pass into the next generation. He formulated a line of recommendations on this point.
During the October visit in our country Petit said that Ukraine need to create a new model of children rights protection. The UNO chairman calls law enforcement agencies of Ukraine to control marriage agencies and closed night clubs, where child prostitution and trafficking of children flourish. He also doubts about frontier rules, which regulate the departure of nonaged minors abroad.
According to UNO press-service, 10% of victims of human trafficking are children at the age of 13- 18. The half of these children is sent in neighboring countries, especially in Russia.
¡§The children in ¡§across-the-border¡¨ sale are exploited in street trade, in house service, in farming, as dancers, waiters or waitresses, or even in sexual service. More particularly they become dancers, beggars or they give sexual service,¡¨ the report gives.
The report says that in many cases children become objects of trafficking inside the country. Dealers on children trafficking decoy their victims in debt bondage. They make children to work off the costs of traveling, meals and dwelling. The possibility to tear away from this debt bondage is happened very seldom.
The Commission's Special Rapporteur said that nobody helps these victims either abroad, or after their returning.
Juan Miguel Petit said that Ukrainian child prostitution has increased for recent years. According to the research of Ukrainian Institute of Social Investigation, there are 11% of children at the age of 12-15 and 20% of children at the age of 16-17 among women who are engaged in sexual service. Petit pointed out that there are even 10 years old girls who are involved in prostitution.
The UNO chairman worries about the way the procurers, trafficking dealers and producers of pornography use children. He learned from mass media and different booklets for tourists that there are many announcements about weddings and meetings which are not controlled. He emphasized that with visa free entrance for majority of west countries Ukraine is turning into an open country for sex-tourism. The Commission's Special Rapporteur apprehends that there are many juveniles, exploited in this spreading activity.
Petit said that Ukraine needs to form a new model of children protection; otherwise this problem will pass into the next generation. He formulated a line of recommendations on this point.
During the October visit in our country Petit said that Ukraine need to create a new model of children rights protection. The UNO chairman calls law enforcement agencies of Ukraine to control marriage agencies and closed night clubs, where child prostitution and trafficking of children flourish. He also doubts about frontier rules, which regulate the departure of nonaged minors abroad.
British Government Okays Explicit Sex Eduacation
One of the worst examples of this destructive intervention in family life is the sex education system that has been imposed on [British] schools. Not very long ago the Daily Telegraph ran a whole-page story headlined, 'Outrage over explicit sex lessons.'
Education correspondent John Clare described parents' anger at 12-year-old children being given explicit sex lessons. In these lessons they were taught sodomy, oral sex with reference to "blow jobs" and mutual masturbation.
Now another government-funded agency, the Brook Advisory Centres, has launched a "Schools Sex Manual", subtitled "Nice Girls have Sex". There is also a full colour booklet (no expense spared when it comes to taxpayers' money) for 13-year-olds called "The Good Grope Guide". Is it any wonder that underage sex, childhood pregnancy and child abortion continue to increase under this British government?
Brock Chisholm, the Canadian doctor who became Director-General of the World Health Organisation, decreed that children should be freed from national, religious and other cultural prejudices inflicted on them by their parents. He advocated that classroom sex education should be introduced, "eliminating the ways of the elders by force if necessary."
Some feel that tt is high time parents hit back and insisted on knowing what is being taught their children in secret and behind their backs. And believe such a move would give children back their innocence.
Yet as recent media reports have indicated, the British government's failure to educate - and parent's embarrassment to discuss sex - have been further contributing to the problems face by youth.
Chinese Government Curbs Online Gaming Addiction
Beijing Government is reported to be introducing the controls to deter people from playing for longer than three consecutive hours.
The measures are designed to combat addiction to online role-playing games such as World of Warcraft and Lineage II.
Consequently Internet game operators have been ordered to install anti-addiction software on their games to help youngsters stay offline.
The government yesterday issued a regulation, which takes effect on April 15, demanding online operators set up a "game fatigue system" that encourages players under 18 to play less than 3 hours a day.
Online gamers will also be required to register using real names and identity card numbers to indicate if they are younger than 18.
Experts said the move reflects government fears over the social impact of popular online games, which have been blamed for the rising numbers of school children playing truant or even committing crimes.
Under the system, known as the "anti-online game addiction system", the first 3 hours of play for each day is considered "healthy", during which players will be awarded full points in the virtual world. The next 2 hours will yield only half the normal points and there will be no points after 5 hours.
After the 5-hour limit, players will be subjected every 15 minutes to the warning: "You have entered unhealthy game time, please go offline immediately to rest. If you do not, your health will be damaged and your points will be cut to zero."
All the online games run in China, including the Massive Multi-player Online Role Player Games (MMORPG) operated by NASDAQ-listed companies such as Shanda, NetEase and The9 and other games like those run by Tencent, will have to abide by the rule.
According to the regulators' timetable, online game operators will have up to four months to install the system; and games not embedded with the software by July 16 will be shut down.
Zhao Yurun, a spokesman for The9 that runs World of Warcraft in China, said yesterday the system will not have a great impact on the company since a majority of its players are adults.
Other companies, including Shanda and NetEase, also said the impact will be limited.
Last year, there were 31.12 million online game players in China. Of them, about 10 percent were below 18, said Kou Xiaowei, deputy director of the audio-visual and Internet publication department of the General Administration of Press and Publication, one of the eight government departments that released the regulation.
Although online game operators do not regard the system as a drain on revenue, experts said it was the real-name registration policy that may pose a real threat to game operators.
"The system requires every online player to register with their real identity. This will scare away many adult and young users," said Liu Bin, chief analyst at research house BDA China.
Official statistics show that the number of Internet users in China reached 123 million in mid-2006. About 15 percent - or 18 million - were under the age of 18.
Octogenarian Lecher Nobuhiro Nakamura Arrested For Child Abuse
Ryann Connell
Octogenarian lecher Nobuhiro Nakamura's arrest resulted from events that would be leaving him feeling a bit stiff, but had he been a tad stiffer he'd be in even bigger trouble than he already is, according to Shukan Gendai.
Nakamura, 81, has become one of the oldest people in Japan to be arrested for breaking the Child Prostitution Law after he allegedly made repeated payments for sex from a 14-year-old girl young enough to be his grandchild's daughter.
Nakamura has apparently admitted to the charges against him, telling the police he met the girl -- a runaway who can't be named -- at a Sapporo supermarket in January last year. After a few months of buying her meals and paying for entertainment, Nakamura finally allegedly lured the girl into a love hotel, where they continued regular trysts from May last year until March, when police picked up the runaway off the streets and were astonished to find she was carrying hundreds of thousands of yen that the octogenarian had given her.
But the old man's efforts at luring the young girl into his clutches proved to be something of a flop -- in more ways than one.
"The girl told us that, perhaps because of his age, Nakamura wasn't able to get an erection and never penetrated her. Instead, she spent each session licking his entire body. She said she recommended he try Viagra and stuff, but Nakamura wouldn't do it, saying he'd be all right," a police insider tells Shukan Gendai.
Another officer adds: "It's true Nakamura never penetrated the girl. But the law also forbids simulated intercourse. He deviously tricked the girl into going to a love hotel with him and we figured that was good enough to arrest him."
As surprising as Nakamura's age is his standing in the community. The 81-year-old is a former top reporter with the Hokkaido Shimbun, the northern island prefecture's premier local newspaper. He was also involved in his local residents' association.
"He was the first head of the residents' association of our apartment block. He worked for a newspaper at the time, so we figured he'd be smart and that was exactly how it turned out. He got lots done and everybody relied on him," a resident of the Sapporo apartment building where Nakamura and his wife lived tells Shukan Gendai.
Nakamura is also a fluent English speaker. He gave English lessons to old folks at a local community center and also organized trips overseas for the elderly. But Nakamura also had another face that some people occasionally glimpsed.
"He was an old codger who never stopped blabbering on, especially to women, who he never failed to try and talk to when the chance arose," another neighbor says.
Nakamura was also well known at the supermarket where he met the young girl he is accused of abusing.
"He offered to buy me meals, but I turned him down. A store worker who saw it said, 'Ah, that old fogey is coming around trying to pick up the young girls again,'" a young girl who hangs out at the supermarket tells the weekly.
Nakamura's elderly wife says she is too ill to comment on the case, even though her husband has been running around after young girls. Police aren't so refrained.
"I guess his desire to chat to young people just escalated into something different, but the fact is that we've got Hokkaido's oldest ever child prostitution arrest on our hands," a police officer tells Shukan Gendai. "Nakamura is apologetic. But, at his age, it's a bit hard to tell him something like 'It's about time you got your life in order.'"
Octogenarian lecher Nobuhiro Nakamura's arrest resulted from events that would be leaving him feeling a bit stiff, but had he been a tad stiffer he'd be in even bigger trouble than he already is, according to Shukan Gendai.
Nakamura, 81, has become one of the oldest people in Japan to be arrested for breaking the Child Prostitution Law after he allegedly made repeated payments for sex from a 14-year-old girl young enough to be his grandchild's daughter.
Nakamura has apparently admitted to the charges against him, telling the police he met the girl -- a runaway who can't be named -- at a Sapporo supermarket in January last year. After a few months of buying her meals and paying for entertainment, Nakamura finally allegedly lured the girl into a love hotel, where they continued regular trysts from May last year until March, when police picked up the runaway off the streets and were astonished to find she was carrying hundreds of thousands of yen that the octogenarian had given her.
But the old man's efforts at luring the young girl into his clutches proved to be something of a flop -- in more ways than one.
"The girl told us that, perhaps because of his age, Nakamura wasn't able to get an erection and never penetrated her. Instead, she spent each session licking his entire body. She said she recommended he try Viagra and stuff, but Nakamura wouldn't do it, saying he'd be all right," a police insider tells Shukan Gendai.
Another officer adds: "It's true Nakamura never penetrated the girl. But the law also forbids simulated intercourse. He deviously tricked the girl into going to a love hotel with him and we figured that was good enough to arrest him."
As surprising as Nakamura's age is his standing in the community. The 81-year-old is a former top reporter with the Hokkaido Shimbun, the northern island prefecture's premier local newspaper. He was also involved in his local residents' association.
"He was the first head of the residents' association of our apartment block. He worked for a newspaper at the time, so we figured he'd be smart and that was exactly how it turned out. He got lots done and everybody relied on him," a resident of the Sapporo apartment building where Nakamura and his wife lived tells Shukan Gendai.
Nakamura is also a fluent English speaker. He gave English lessons to old folks at a local community center and also organized trips overseas for the elderly. But Nakamura also had another face that some people occasionally glimpsed.
"He was an old codger who never stopped blabbering on, especially to women, who he never failed to try and talk to when the chance arose," another neighbor says.
Nakamura was also well known at the supermarket where he met the young girl he is accused of abusing.
"He offered to buy me meals, but I turned him down. A store worker who saw it said, 'Ah, that old fogey is coming around trying to pick up the young girls again,'" a young girl who hangs out at the supermarket tells the weekly.
Nakamura's elderly wife says she is too ill to comment on the case, even though her husband has been running around after young girls. Police aren't so refrained.
"I guess his desire to chat to young people just escalated into something different, but the fact is that we've got Hokkaido's oldest ever child prostitution arrest on our hands," a police officer tells Shukan Gendai. "Nakamura is apologetic. But, at his age, it's a bit hard to tell him something like 'It's about time you got your life in order.'"
Uproar Over Use Of Nude Models To Raise Funds For AIDS
Culture minister, others assail plan to assist AIDS hospice by auctioning prints of famous people posing in the buff
The abbot of a Lop Buri temple that serves as an AIDS hospice said yesterday he would refuse any proceeds from a controversial auction of nude celebrity photos planned by an entertainment magazine.
Abbot Prah Alongkut made a brief statement, saying he was informed only that morning that Fame magazine wanted to raise funds to support the temple's work by taking bids for centrefold photos of some leading actresses and that he was disturbed by the damaging publicity that the charity project had generated.
However, it was not certain what kind of further controversy the abbot's rejection would create, as it is against Buddhist principles to turn down donations.
Penpak Sirikul, one of the models, insisted that her intentions were well-meant. "I don't have any hidden agenda."
Porn Site Reviews and Previews
"People are born naked," she said. "This is the art of women's beauty."
She also lashed out at critics of the project, asking them what they have done for the cause. She defended the project, saying this was the quickest way to raise money and get it to AIDS victims.
She dismissed suggestions that posing in the buff would set an example for the younger generation to emulate, saying they can think for themselves.
"Not all people are stupid."
The undertaking brought some 30 models and celebrities to take nude pictures to be featured at the Fame Erotica exhibition open to the public from April 5-9 at CentralWorld.
The one-metre-square nude pictures are scheduled to be put up for bidding to raise funds for AIDS patients at Lop Buri's Phrabath Namphu Temple and Nonthaburi's Bamraj Naradoon Hospital.
It's not known if the Nonthaburi hospital would feel the same way about the project as the temple.
Culture Minister Khunying Khaisri Sri-aroon called the project inappropriate, as some photos and poses were provocative. She urged the celebrities to use their fame in other merit-making methods.
Khaisri said she understood the models' and celebrities' wishes to act for a charitable cause, raising money for AIDS patients, but the approach of taking nude pictures - some reportedly struck suggestive poses as in pin-up calendars - was not proper.
The celebrities already had the public glued to their every move, she said, and should find another way to raise funds.
Prisana Pongtadsirikul, secretary-general of the National Culture Commission, said that being charity-minded was good but their deeds should also be responsible to the whole society. She said the ministry had been trying to promote polite and traditional Thai-style clothing ahead of the Thai New Year festival, so she would prefer these public figures to set good examples for youths nationwide.
She said that they should have chosen other fund-raising activities and asked why the celebrities did not take photos with their clothes on or wear Thai clothing instead. She also suspected that this move might be driven by commercial interests or was a PR stunt for the participants to gain more publicity.
Ladda Tangsupachai, director of the Culture Watch Centre, said she understood the good intentions of the organiser and celebrities but they might lack cultural understanding that merit-making money should be earned from decent methods and sources. She also expressed concern that the affair might confuse young people who have been criticised for wearing revealing clothes.
Ladda also said that the case was discussed at a meeting of the committee for safe and constructive media, which was chaired by Deputy Prime Minister Paiboon Wattanasiritham, and committee members just shook their heads in disagreement with such a "benefit".
Former senator Rabiebrat Pongpanit, president of the Happy Family Association, slammed the models and celebrities for resorting to taking their clothes off for a good cause, which would create a bad example for Thai youths.
Rabiebrat said that she felt hurt that the famous people used charity as an excuse to stoop to this behaviour. She said they should have done something else.
"The monks [at Phrabath Namphu Temple] must feel uncomfortable to accept donated money from this, but being Buddhist monks taught not to be choosy in merit-taking, he would have to take it. This charity project is not a good example. They don't seem to think things through," she said while urging the Culture Ministry to act upon it.
Venerable Phramaha Samai Jintakosako from the Saeng Thian Foundation said that, while helping AIDS patients was great merit, taking nude pictures was inappropriate and against Thai culture and tradition. He said this even put Phrabath Namphu Temple in a negative light because the money came from an activity against good tradition and thus was "ungraceful" and a bad example. He urged the project participants not to jeopardise the good image of Buddhist monks who devoted themselves to caring for AIDS patients. He expressed concern that if this could not be stopped, someone might produce nude VCDs to raise funds for charity in the future.
The abbot of a Lop Buri temple that serves as an AIDS hospice said yesterday he would refuse any proceeds from a controversial auction of nude celebrity photos planned by an entertainment magazine.
Abbot Prah Alongkut made a brief statement, saying he was informed only that morning that Fame magazine wanted to raise funds to support the temple's work by taking bids for centrefold photos of some leading actresses and that he was disturbed by the damaging publicity that the charity project had generated.
However, it was not certain what kind of further controversy the abbot's rejection would create, as it is against Buddhist principles to turn down donations.
Penpak Sirikul, one of the models, insisted that her intentions were well-meant. "I don't have any hidden agenda."
Porn Site Reviews and Previews
"People are born naked," she said. "This is the art of women's beauty."
She also lashed out at critics of the project, asking them what they have done for the cause. She defended the project, saying this was the quickest way to raise money and get it to AIDS victims.
She dismissed suggestions that posing in the buff would set an example for the younger generation to emulate, saying they can think for themselves.
"Not all people are stupid."
The undertaking brought some 30 models and celebrities to take nude pictures to be featured at the Fame Erotica exhibition open to the public from April 5-9 at CentralWorld.
The one-metre-square nude pictures are scheduled to be put up for bidding to raise funds for AIDS patients at Lop Buri's Phrabath Namphu Temple and Nonthaburi's Bamraj Naradoon Hospital.
It's not known if the Nonthaburi hospital would feel the same way about the project as the temple.
Culture Minister Khunying Khaisri Sri-aroon called the project inappropriate, as some photos and poses were provocative. She urged the celebrities to use their fame in other merit-making methods.
Khaisri said she understood the models' and celebrities' wishes to act for a charitable cause, raising money for AIDS patients, but the approach of taking nude pictures - some reportedly struck suggestive poses as in pin-up calendars - was not proper.
The celebrities already had the public glued to their every move, she said, and should find another way to raise funds.
Prisana Pongtadsirikul, secretary-general of the National Culture Commission, said that being charity-minded was good but their deeds should also be responsible to the whole society. She said the ministry had been trying to promote polite and traditional Thai-style clothing ahead of the Thai New Year festival, so she would prefer these public figures to set good examples for youths nationwide.
She said that they should have chosen other fund-raising activities and asked why the celebrities did not take photos with their clothes on or wear Thai clothing instead. She also suspected that this move might be driven by commercial interests or was a PR stunt for the participants to gain more publicity.
Ladda Tangsupachai, director of the Culture Watch Centre, said she understood the good intentions of the organiser and celebrities but they might lack cultural understanding that merit-making money should be earned from decent methods and sources. She also expressed concern that the affair might confuse young people who have been criticised for wearing revealing clothes.
Ladda also said that the case was discussed at a meeting of the committee for safe and constructive media, which was chaired by Deputy Prime Minister Paiboon Wattanasiritham, and committee members just shook their heads in disagreement with such a "benefit".
Former senator Rabiebrat Pongpanit, president of the Happy Family Association, slammed the models and celebrities for resorting to taking their clothes off for a good cause, which would create a bad example for Thai youths.
Rabiebrat said that she felt hurt that the famous people used charity as an excuse to stoop to this behaviour. She said they should have done something else.
"The monks [at Phrabath Namphu Temple] must feel uncomfortable to accept donated money from this, but being Buddhist monks taught not to be choosy in merit-taking, he would have to take it. This charity project is not a good example. They don't seem to think things through," she said while urging the Culture Ministry to act upon it.
Venerable Phramaha Samai Jintakosako from the Saeng Thian Foundation said that, while helping AIDS patients was great merit, taking nude pictures was inappropriate and against Thai culture and tradition. He said this even put Phrabath Namphu Temple in a negative light because the money came from an activity against good tradition and thus was "ungraceful" and a bad example. He urged the project participants not to jeopardise the good image of Buddhist monks who devoted themselves to caring for AIDS patients. He expressed concern that if this could not be stopped, someone might produce nude VCDs to raise funds for charity in the future.
Indian Actress Preethi Varma Pushed Her Into Prostitution
The story of up and coming south Indian actress Preethi Varma seems like a horror tale.
The Chennai police has filed a case against the parents of actress for allegedly trying to push their daughter into flesh trade.
Preethi presented herself before the Egmore Principal Sessions Court in Chennai on March 28 after suddenly disappearing for over a month.
The young actress, who had accused her parents of making attempts to force her into prostitution, had told the court that she would not go back to her parents, as she wanted to lead an independent life.
She said that she was forced to leave the house. And because she was unable to put up with her parents' intimidating tactics, she had sought the legal action against them for trying to force her into prostitution.
The police had registered cases against the actor's parents - Ramya and Bharath Kumar - who were expected to be arrested soon.
Looking Into Long Distance Marriage
DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE
All woman writer
TWELVE years ago, Princess Wallace's husband Junior left Jamaica for the Canadian farm work programme, armed with just one suitcase, and big dreams to buy a house to make his family comfortable in Portmore.
Two years after leaving, they had a two-bedroom, and today their five bedroom home is complete. So is their family.
When Junior left, both Chelsea and Nicholas were in primary school, today another child has been added to the family, and the older two are in the stages of completing high school and college. The only shadow forming over their perfect family, is the fact that their father doesn't live at home.
Nicholas, now 23, and in his final year at university, tells all woman that as a child he had all the things he wanted, and was the envy of the neighbourhood.
"I had a Nintendo, and when PlayStation came in I had the PlayStation, I had bicycles, scooters, anything I wanted, we were never short of anything," he said. "My mother was both mother and father. You should see her mix cement and change the washer in a pipe, she could do anything."
In fact, as Wallace explains, her husband's leaving caused her to become a Jane-of-all-trades, and she soon learnt not only to cook and clean, but to make shelves, paint, do plumbing, electrical work and fix the car when it broke down.
And the companionship: "I had my children, so I never thought about what I was missing. Junior was home for a few days at least once every six months, so I had him then. At other times I just prayed that he'd be safe there, and I was busy raising the children, so I never thought much about what I was missing out on."
It's another spin to the long-distance relationship, these marriage across the world romances, where the bonds are tested by the distance between the couples.
According to Ministry of Labour information, approximately 6,000 Jamaican farm workers went to Canada in 2006, the largest number since the inception of the programme some 40 years ago, and more could go this year. Many who go are married men, who leave behind their families in search of a better life overseas. Others leave on other programmes, through legal and illegal means, ultimately in search of something that's missing at home.
Nowadays, women are joining in the mass exit, leaving their men behind.
Shakeira Brown is leaving Jamaica at the end of this month, destined for Florida on a programme for nurses that will see her employed at one of the hospitals there. She's leaving her husband and five-year-old daughter behind, but believes that the money she will earn in the US will make up for her absence.
"My husband tried and tried but with his job as a cook and mine as a nurse here, we didn't even have enough money most times to pay our rent," she said. "My friend told me about this programme and I applied, now I'm leaving and he fully supports me."
There have been tales of relationships that failed because one partner lives abroad, there are also some people who feel that being married while one partner lives abroad is no marriage at all. But, as our next interviewee admitted, with the right amount of effort and interest on both parts, a long distance marriage can survive the obstacles - as long as you both refresh your memories of why you chose to do it and trust each other.
Kevin Brown has been married for eight years, five of which he spent living in Jamaica with his wife in England. It started, he said, as a mutual understanding where himself, his wife, and their two children would leave for England.
However, things didn't go as planned and so they decided she should go on ahead and he would join her as soon as the paperwork was sorted out. Then came the introduction of the visa to travel to England, and after two attempts to acquire one, he and the children were turned down.
It has been far from easy for Brown, but nonetheless, after five years apart with not one visit, he still thinks of her as his wife.
"At times you think on both sides of the situation. I think about it from her side as well as mine. But we still do stuff together. I don't make any form of investment unless she is involved. So even though she is not physically here, I still consider what we have a marriage," he said.
"We have to remember too that it is not only about us, but about the kids too. Kids make a lot of difference in a marriage."
He added: "Sometimes I sit and just reflect on the good times we had together and that helps to give me comfort. To tell the truth, sometimes I think she might be cheating but sometimes I don't think so."
Infidelity is one of the main concerns in long distance marriages, an issue that's bound to surface the longer the couple stay apart.
For Wallace: "I know he probably has a woman up there but I don't let that bother me. I'd drive myself crazy with that. But I know that he's a man, and that he has needs, especially, as Jamaicans say, when the cold bite you. We never talk about it. I just don't want to know."
Brown has kept himself celibate, but admits that it's hard, and he does feel attracted to other women sometimes.
He tries to be as open with his wife as possible.
"I always told her if she really need to cheat, use a condom and don't have a child for someone else. I wouldn't be able to deal with that, just as much as I know I would never put her through that trauma. If your partner cheats, you can forgive them and move on. But if a child is involved it's harder."
Regarding contact: "We speak every single day. Because I mean its not like she said she was leaving and not coming back or anything like that."
Brown explained that up to a year and a half after she left, he could hardly survive and missed her much more than he thought he would.
"For a year and a half, I couldn't keep a steady job. I changed four jobs within that period of time, none of which lasted beyond six months. I used to always call and ask her if she wasn't coming home. But she would remind me that it is for the best."
In fact, this January they were able to purchase a house together and seven months ago, his wife surprised him by buying him a vehicle. He admits to missing her and looks forward to her coming home before the year ends.
You need trust and communication
Sheri and Bob Stritof, authors of The Everything Great Marriage Book say that being apart "makes a marriage even more challenging".
In an article How to maintain a long distance marriage they say:
1. The key, as it is in all relationships, is communication. Keep the lines of communication open on a daily basis.
2. Being committed to one another and truly believing that your spouse belives in the marriage commitment is vital.
3. A long distance marriage will fail if there is a lack of trust between the partners.
4. Although you are apart from one another, make time for one another. You can do this by sending a letter, an email, writing in a journal, day dreaming about your spouse, or having an ICQ or chat conversation.
5. Share your expectations about being apart from one another. Also share your expectations when you are close to being together again.
6. Be honest about your concerns and fears about your separation.
7. Try to do daily dialogue with each other.
8. Keep a daily journal.
9. Give one another a scented pillow case or shirt to help keep your presence with them.
10. Plan a trip or some fun activity (other than sex) to do when the two of you are back together.
11. Use online communication to send emails, electronic cards, pictures, music, poems, and stories.
12. Camcorders can be great for being able to see one another or your children.
13. Play online games together.
14. Surprise each other once in a while with a phone call. Send care packages to each other now and then.
They also advise that couples do not immediately assume that their partner will cheat because of the physical separation. "Most long distance marriages do not have to deal with this heartache because of the love and commitment the spouses feel for one another," they say. "What you need is commitment, communication, a sense of humour, trust and discipline."
Who Should Baby-Sit For You?
DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE
All woman writer
She is the woman who will take care of your little bundle when you're unable to, the second mommy your baby will have throughout his/her formative years. With that in mind, you have to ensure not only that she loves children, but that she can handle emergencies and do simple things like help stimulate your child.
That's why choosing a sitter/nanny for your little one can be a mind-boggling experience and one that should be handled with great care. You have to bear in mind that children are not able to express themselves clearly to let you know how they are being treated while you are out. The onus is therefore on you to get a trustworthy person in your home to care for your child.
Childcare experts on healthsafety_baby-sitters.html say, "A good rule of thumb is the younger the children being watched, the older the babysitter should be." And babycentre.co.uk advises that you don't compromise when carrying out this important search. "Your child deserves the best caregiver you can find - so be prepared for a long search," the childcare site says. "You'll need to be patient and resourceful, consulting everyone from friends and family to the nanny agencies about possible candidates."
Locally, agencies like the Jamaica Household Workers Association and the Citizens Advice Bureau can help.
The JHWA provides trained workers for your home, who come properly screened and with references.
Executive director of the Citizens Advice Bureau, Pauline Harper, says people come in to the Bureau from time to time as trained practical nurses but who are willing to be placed as nannies while those without training come armed with years of experience as well as recommendations.
She explained though, that the end result is left up to the parents to interview the individuals and find out whether or not they are able to take care of the child.
"I presently see the need for sitters to be trained in the field of childcare before they take on the task of baby-sitting," Harper said. "But you also have students leaving the secondary schools who are trained in childcare and qualified as sitters."
When choosing a sitter, here are some tips you can follow:
*The recommendations of people you know and trust are your best bet for finding a reliable and capable babysitter.
* If you're new to the area and don't know how to go about finding a sitter, ask your neighbours or co-workers for recommendations, inquire at your church, or talk to your child's doctor or nurse practitioner for suggestions.
There are in fact agencies such as the Citizens Advice Bureau, Ministry of Labour, JHWA and even some employment agencies that will help you find qualified sitters.
* Interviewing prospective sitters and checking their references will help you narrow down your sitter choices.
* Sitters should provide references that indicate a proven track record for showing good common sense, maturity and following instructions.
* Sitters should have first aid training and know how to manoeuver a choking child and have knowledge of CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation, a combination of rescue breathing, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and chest compression).
* Make sure the sitter knows where your first aid kit is located.
* In addition, you may want to invite the sitter over for a dry run while you're at home, so you can familiarise him or her with your household and observe how he or she interacts with your child.
Rich Chinese Women Buying American Love For Some $3,700.00
More than ten wealthy yet single Shanghai ladies will seek their perfect match amongst the millionaires of Silicon Valley when they go on a match-making tour of the United States next month.
Shanghai Youth Daily reports a local online dating website is organizing the tour for lovelorn businesswomen, who need to cough up 28,512 yuan, around 3703 US dollars, for their shot at finding love in the States. They also need to prove they have at least 500,000 yuan in the bank, a good education, a well-paying job and their own real-estate.
More than 20 local women have signed up for the trip, despite the rigorous selection criteria. Unfortunately, trip organizer Bai Naimu said not all of the applicants made the grade. Bai said their company is looking for quality, not quantity, in the ladies it signs on for the tour. So it is conducting additional investigations into all the applicants' financial statements and abilities.
Bai Naimu says the chosen few will attend a matchmaking party with overseas Chinese men in Silicon Valley and get to see all the sights along the way.
She promises their partners in Silicon Valley have assembled lots of eligible bachelors. All the men are from the Chinese mainland and have find it difficult to meet appropriate partners in the States.
Mr. Zhu belongs to an organization for overseas Chinese students in the Silicon Valley. He says Chinese students are usually consumed by their studies during their first few years in the U.S. After they graduate, they find a job, earn a stable income and start casting around for a good wife. But they find it difficult to meet women because they work in the male-dominated IT industry.
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