Fathers Can Be The Best Friends Of Teenage Daughters

Sharon Supriya

Father of teenage daughter "I loved my dad. I remember, as a child I used to jump on him as soon as he came back from his work. I told him every bit that happened in school, from my friend to my teachers. If I remembered something in the mid of the night that I forgot to tell him I would walk up and whisper it in his ears.

Things were the same until I stepped into my teens. When I experienced certain changes in my body and thoughts, I slowly started drifting away from my father. When he came to hug me after his work, I would shy off. I was shaping a body like my mother. It was an eerie feeling. And the creepiest thing was that I had weird dreams about nude people and dark rooms. My friends told me some strange and new stories. I wanted to know all about these changes. They were new to me. Now I moved to my mother just to see whether those changes where normal and wished if she could tell me that I was still the "same child."

The above situation is faced by most of the teenage daughters and fathers in the world. The toughest questions to solve at this period by fathers would be is how do I talk to her about the important things in life - changing body, first dates, money, sex, work, beliefs, being true to your values, pornography, death, alcohol, drugs and other things? Here are some useful guidelines for a father to develop a healthy relationship with teenage daughters. Read on to know how to maintain the same innocent and healthy relationship with your teenage daughter.

For Fathers
Remember that your daughter is having physical and a mental changes. She is not that innocent and sweet little baby that she used to be few years ago. That doesn't mean she is perverted and spoilt now. It just means that she knows fairly a bit of what you didn't tell her. She came to know about it all through her friends, TV, Internet or school. So, be calm and answer the questions she asks you about these new aspects of life. Make her believe that these changes are true, necessary and pure.

Writing Letters
Well! Now how will you tell her, if you are a shy person yourself and your daughter doesn't take the first step? Write letters. This is a very simple medium through which you can always maintain a close relationship with her. Do not jump into 'sex' topics in the beginning. She may even run away from you when you try to tell her something nice and clean the next time.

Write to her about your own teenage experiences. Tell her about your first crush, your first date and first love. Make her feel that these experiences are a part of nature. When she will know this she will surely come closer to you and tell her secret beliefs and experiences. Be a treasure of secrets for her. Anything that she discussed with you should be kept in the strictest sense of confidence. This will reinforce the trust.

Do not change channels when you see some lovemaking scenes in the TV. Watch it with her until it is moving to an extreme step and you think it is not safe for your daughter at this age. When you watch it with her she will understand that it is just a normal aspect and you are cool with it.

Father of teenage daughter If you cannot talk about sex, then present her factual books or novels related to sex. Remember to add a note in the first page, "I want you to know some other aspects in the world, for I want you to be safe---------- Love Papa". Remember if you don't tell her someone else will. This may get her in some worst situations and the bond you shared may just disappear some day.

Over protection
Fathers usually feel that the world holds danger for their daughters. However over protection may not work as it makes her feel that you do not trust her. To make her understand the dangers, work with other parents to demand an end to violence against females, pornography, women insecurities and all "boys are better than girls" attitude. These movements will ofcourse benefit many women in the world and at the same time you will acquire great respect from your daughter.

Get involved
Do not move her away from you physically as being physically active with her is a great investment. Listen to her carefully. Respect her views, opinions and suggestions. Urge her to love herself and accept herself the way she is. Get involved in her school activities; show her the same interests. Get physically active with her by playing catch, tag, basketball, hockey or anything that would bring her close to you. Experts say that physically active girls are less likely to get pregnant, drop out of school, or put up with an abusive partner.

Horrifying topics
When you have achieved a good mark on these topics move towards the rest, like death, war, drugs, her role in the society, ... etc. Most fathers may feel that this is not necessary. However these subjects are essential as they are a part of life. Do not scare her with the loss, pain and grief, but enlighten them with the reunion and faith of God.

Nurture her like a beautiful flower, protect her without a cage, and help her to love herself and the world with a change. Help her to move closer for an everlasting warmth and friendship.

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