Things That Can Ruin Your Sex Life

Poonam Deviah

Lovemaking is beautiful, also sensuous and sensitive. It is beyond carnal pleasure and for those who see farther, it is a divine union of Shiva (Lord Shiva, Indian Deity) and Shakti (Mother of Creation).

An active sex life is an ingredient for a good marriage and healthy living. Many a times sex life can be ruined and most times one would not realize what is going wrong. Here are a few pointers and remedies to balance out your love life.

Did you ask your partner what he/she enjoys and worked on it? Nothing kills a sex life faster than a partner who refuses to try something new or caters to the needs of his/her partner. Unintentionally you might be sending 'don't care,' signals, "Your pleasures and needs are not important to me, I' am happy, so I don't care."

Ask your partner what he/she likes. They might have some hidden fantasies waiting to be explored. Don't shy away from trying them. If you think the whole idea is beyond you, speak your mind to your partner. Do not make nasty comments, for, these are very sensitive issues and once hurt, it might take a very long time to heal, or may not heal even. So watch out!

When was the last time you ventured out of your sexual comfort zone? Did you ever? Eating the same dinner every night, would bore you, wouldn't it? The same applies to your love life. Doing the same things over and over again, first leads to boredom, then slowly the fire dies and finally extinguishes. From here, then begins a whole turmoil of frustrations and emotional upheavals.

Get innovative. Talk to your partner, see how both of you can work a whole new world of love. Try new ways. If you can't think of anything, get hold of a good book. Both of you can explore together and if you can invent something new, nothing like it. Work at it, and you'll see long-term results.

Dirty talking, not really sure how many enjoy this, but some do. You need to watch what you talk, because for some, this can be a complete put off. When you are on that high ski diving mode, a wrong word can land you flat on the face. If your partner does not enjoy this you can perhaps keep it to the minimum, so as to balance your needs as well as that of your partner's.

[Ruin sex life] While making love do you really pay attention? It is very important that you live through and receive the whole experience. Be aware of what you enjoy and what you don't. Pay attention to your partner's needs. In your pleasure don't ignore the pleasure of the other. Don't be the wild stallion running helter skelter, while your partner withers in pain.

Do you always wait for your partner to initiate? If you do, you might be missing out on a lot. Power can be a huge turn-on and can be very sexy for both. Initiating when that's not your usual style can jump-start the whole act. Your partner will be pleasantly surprised and you will be in control. Try it and see how it feels.

Do you have a diminished desire with very little or no fire? You might be one among the many who suffer due to stress or related problems. This might be physical, mental, or psychological. Get help. See this as a problem and seek help. It is very important to get at problem and nip them off at the bud. Don't let them grow into tall trees with firm roots. These can have long-term repercussions.

Lovemaking is a beautiful gift of nature and must be nurtured with care. Don't keep lovemaking for the dark hours of the night. Have you tried a passionate wake up call? Kick- start the day with a passionate act. Most couples restrict themselves to the bedroom. Whenever feasible grab a quickie on the couch, kitchen slab, under the shower, on the carpet, wherever. Try new ways. If you can't think of anything, get hold of a good book, both of you explore together and if you can invent something new, nothing like it.

Get rocking!

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