Sex preference Now A Critical Issue In Vietnam

Vietnam's preference for boys over girls is further tipping the balance between the sexes in Asia, already skewed by a strong bias for boys among Chinese and Indians. The trend could lead to increased trafficking of women and social unrest, a UN report says.

Vietnam is now positioned where China was a decade ago, logging about 110 boys born to every 100 girls in a country where technology is readily available to determine the sex of a fetus and where abortion is legal, according to research released this week by the UN Population Fund.

The sex ratio at birth generally should equal about 105 boys to 100 girls, according to the report.

"The consequences are already happening in neighboring countries like China, South Korea and Taiwan. They have to import brides," said Tran Thi Van, assistant country representative of the Population Fund in Hanoi, adding that many brides are coming from Vietnam. "I don't know where Vietnam could import brides from if that situation happened here in the next 10 or 15 years."

The report, which looked at China, India, Vietnam and Nepal, warned that tinkering with nature's probabilities could cause increased violence against women, trafficking and social tensions. It predicted a "marriage squeeze," with the poorest men being forced to live as bachelors.

Gender imbalance among births has been rising in parts of Asia since the 1980s, after ultrasound and amniocentesis provided a way to determine a fetus' sex early in pregnancy. Despite laws in several countries banning doctors from revealing the baby's sex, many women still find out and choose to abort girls.

"I have noticed that there have been more and more boys than girls," said Truong Thi My Ha, a nurse at Hanoi's Maternity Hospital. "Most women are very happy when they have boys, while many are upset if they have girls."

In China, the 2005 estimate was more than 120 boys born to 100 girls, with India logging about 108 boys to 100 girls in 2001, when the last census was taken. However, pockets of India have rates of 120 boys. In several Chinese provinces, the ratio spikes to more than 130 boys born to 100 girls.

Reports of female infanticide still surface in some poor areas of countries and death rates are higher among girls in places like China, where they are sometimes breast-fed for shorter periods, given less health care and vaccinations and even smaller portions of food than their brothers, the report said.

It estimated Asia was short 163 million females in 2005 when compared to overall population balances of men and women elsewhere in the world. It said sex ratios at birth in other countries, such as Nepal, Pakistan and Bangladesh, also should be closely monitored to avoid uneven trends there.

Earlier research has documented the gender imbalance in the region. A UNICEF report last year estimated 7,000 girls go unborn every day in India.

"It's very difficult to imagine what's going to be the exact impact of these missing girls in 20 years," said Christophe Guilmoto, an author of the report presented this week at a reproductive health conference in Hyderabad, India. "No human society that we know has faced a similar problem."

The reasons boys are favored over girls are complex and deeply rooted in Asian society. In many countries, men typically receive the inheritance, carry on the family name and take care of their parents in old age, while women often leave to live with their husband's family.

In India, wedding costs and dowries are usually required of the parents of the bride, and sons are the only ones permitted by the Hindu religion to perform the last rites when their fathers die.

"My husband took me to a private clinic to be checked. I broke down in tears when I saw the result because I knew this is not what my husband wanted," said Nguyen Thi Hai Yen, 33, recalling when she discovered her second baby was a girl. "But he was good. He told me it was OK."

China has a one-child policy, while Vietnam encourages only two children per family after relaxing an earlier ban on having more. Such limits have led many women to abort girls and keep trying for sons who can carry on the family lineage.

The report calls for increased public awareness, more government intervention and steps to elevate women's place in society by promoting gender equality.

How To Speak To Your Pregnant Teen Daughter

Before considering how you might respond to the news that your unmarried teenager is pregnant, take a brief tour of the emotions and thought processes that are likely to be swirling through her mind and heart.

Fear is an overriding emotion in nearly every teen pregnancy.

"I can't tell my parents. They'll kill me!" "How can I finish school when I'm pregnant?"

"My boyfriend will take off if I don't have an abortion."

The adolescent with a crisis pregnancy probably sees nothing but loss on the horizon—loss of love, time, education and physical health. Fear of one or more of these losses propels most of her other responses. Remember that the average age difference between the father of the baby and the teenage mother is 6.4 years.

Denial is common, especially during the early weeks of pregnancy when the only indication might be one or more missed periods, a little fatigue, possibly some nausea or even a positive pregnancy test. The longing for things to be "the way they were" may delay acknowledging the problem and seeking appropriate help for weeks or even months.

Ambivalence about being pregnant may cause fluctuating emotions. One day the only solution may appear to be an abortion, while the next the prospect of a cuddly baby may seem appealing. Time spent with a friend's crying newborn may jolt the emotions in yet another direction. Indecision and apparent lack of direction in such an overwhelming situation are common.

Guilt. When a pregnancy results from the violation of moral values held since childhood, an adolescent will usually feel ashamed and worthless. Her growing abdomen becomes a constant reminder of her failure. This is a time when you can come alongside your child and cement a lasting relationship with her.

Pressure to have an abortion. This may come from several directions. A teenager may be weighing what appears to be a dismal future of hardship and remorse against a quick and relatively inexpensive procedure. "No one needs to know, and I can get on with my life."

A boyfriend (who may be dealing with his own fear and guilt, along with concerns about future financial responsibilities) may exert considerable pressure to abort, even offering to pay the bill. He may also threaten to bail out of the relationship if the pregnancy continues. Some parents, worried about their daughter's future or perhaps their own reputation in the community (or even the prospect of being responsible for the actual child-rearing), may also find abortion attractive.

The "cuddly doll" mentality. Some unmarried teenage girls see their pregnancy unrealistically as an escape from a difficult and unpleasant home situation. They may envision a baby as a snuggly companion who will require roughly the same amount of care as a new puppy, not realizing the amount of energy a newborn will take from her without giving much in return (especially during the first few weeks). Teens with this mindset need to adjust their expectations of child-rearing—not to drive them to abort, but to help them make more appropriate plans. If adoption is not chosen as a solution, some careful groundwork should be laid to prevent serious disappointment and even the mother's abuse of the baby.
Excerpted from Let's Talk About Sex, Copyright 1998 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International Copyright secured.

Sex-Saturated Television Encourages Teenage Sex

Marilyn Elias

A steady diet of sex-saturated television might encourage teens to start sex earlier, a national survey of 1,762 kids suggests today.

HBO Programs with sexually oriented conversations have as much effect as those that depict sex or imply that sex has happened, says psychologist Rebecca Collins of RAND Corp. in Santa Monica, Calif. Her study is reported in the Pediatrics online journal.

The research is the first that takes into account other factors linked to early teen sex — such as poor grades, low parent education, having older friends and living in a one-parent home — and tracks how TV-watching might predict sexual activity, says Jane Brown, a University of North Carolina media researcher who specializes in adolescents. The phone survey of 12- to 17-year-olds also took into account sexual experience at the start of the study.

Kids who said they watched more sex-oriented programs at the beginning of the year were more likely than others their age to become sexually active during the next year. Those in the top 10% for viewing of sexually related scenes were twice as likely to engage in intercourse as those in the lowest 10%, Collins says. The more sex-oriented scenes they saw, the more likely they were to become sexually active.

"It's social learning: 'monkey see, monkey do,' " Collins says. "If everyone's talking about sex or having it, and something bad hardly ever comes out of it, because it doesn't on TV, then they think, 'Hey, the whole world's doing it, and I need to.' "

The study didn't take into account a teen's interest in sex or feelings of sexual readiness as the year began. So the findings might exaggerate TV's influence in causing kids to start sex, says adolescent psychologist Joseph Allen of the University of Virginia.

"Sexually explicit TV viewing is exactly the kind of thing adolescents would do if they were interested in becoming sexually active," Allen says. "She may be picking up on teenagers who are about to seek out sexual experiences." Different levels of readiness might have a small effect on the findings, Collins says.

Physical maturity also matters. More sexually developed youngsters feel readier for sex and are more likely to be sexually active, Allen says, "and almost certainly these kids would be watching more sexy TV shows."

Television executives were skeptical, too. "With all due respect to RAND, we do not believe that one show can alter a person's sexual behavior," says HBO spokesman Jeff Cusson. HBO aired Sex and the City, one of the programs tracked in the study.

"Some TV may be too provocative for kids, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be on the air," says Todd Leavitt, president of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. "As the father of three daughters, I believe parents have an obligation to monitor their kids' TV viewing."

Teens whose parents supervised their activities closely were less likely to watch sexually oriented shows.

"Most important is keeping the set out of children's bedrooms, because otherwise the kids have complete control over what they watch," Brown says. Studies show that about 3 of 5 teens have TVs in their bedrooms, she says.

Fewer Cohabiting Couples End Up Marrying

Couples who live together won't necessarily stay together, according to new research. Ruth Weston and Lixia Qu, research fellows at the Australian Institute of Family Studies, conducted a study into the percentage of cohabiting couples who end up marrying one another.

They found that marriage rates had fallen dramatically since the beginning of last century and those couples who did tie the knot were doing so at a later age.

Weston told the Sydney Morning Herald that many young people thought moving in together was "a fun thing to do".

But she said cohabiting couples often lingered for years in unsuitable relationships and had trouble finding new partners when they eventually did split.

"In the old days people might go 'steady' but there was still opportunity to meet others," she said.

"Now once you are living with someone you are cheating if you see someone else. When you cohabit it adds a sense of commitment to a relationship that might be going nowhere."

Weston and Qu's research found that 63 per cent of couples who began living together in the early 1970s ended up marrying, but only 43 per cent of couples who began living together since the 1970s ended up married.

Of those who first moved in together in the early 1990s, there was only a slight difference between the number who were married within five years (43 per cent) and the number who had separated during the same time period (38 per cent).

And while marriage rates have been declining since the 1970s, the rate of cohabitation has risen for all age groups, the research, published in Family Relationships Quarterly shows.

Rates of separation have also increased over the same period, indicating that although more people may be living together, the relationships are not necessarily stable.

Weston told the Sydney Morning Herald that cohabiting couples in the 1980s had tended to treat the relationship as a trial marriage and usually went on to marry each other quickly. "Some might have separated later," she said.

Now, many people enter relationships before they are committed, and without having discussed their future.

"They enter prematurely but can linger on and waste their time," she said.

South Korean Students, On School Field Trip To Hotel Massage Parlour

South Korea's education ministry launched an inquiry today after a TV program showed youths entering a hotel massage parlour for sex during a school trip to China.

The ministry ordered school authorities nationwide to investigate all field trips to China.

"The alleged incident should not have happened," Ko Young-Kyu, a senior ministry supervisor, said.

"Local education offices have been asked to throughly investigate and report the results."

The MBC TV network in a program late yesterday showed South Korean teenagers venturing into a massage parlour in China. Some said it was common practice.

"Phone calls came to the rooms from the massage parlours which are everywhere in the hotels," one high school student told MBC, recalling his recent trip to China.

He said some 30 schoolmates of his paid for sex there, adding: "Those who have been there all had it because we went there for that."

Another student said: "We kids bragged about it."

The TV program said teachers were either helpless or negligent in controlling the children.

"The South Korean students left at around 4am. There were a lot," one Chinese

Online Child Prostitution On The Increase In Japan

Online crime hit a new high in Japan in the first six months this year, with the number of cases of child prostitution arranged on the Internet surging more than 60 percent, police said last week.

Arrests were made in 1,808 cases of Internet crime, up by six cases from the same period last year and the highest since 2003 when police started compiling similar half-year data.

For child prostitution (in some cases referred to enjo kosai or compensated dating), in which minors meet with adult clients on dating and other websites, the number of cases jumped 62.7 percent to 275.
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"We will promote activity to ban children from using dating websites while pushing ahead with spreading filtering on cellphones," the National Police Agency said in a report.

Young Japanese often surf websites specially designed to be viewed on cellphones.

Online auction fraud remained the leading cyber crime, with 490 cases but the figure was down 33.2 percent from last year.

10 Tips For Him & Her To Boost Oral Sex

Some couples aren't having sex, but they enjoy touching and oral sex. Here are some tips on how to make oral sex more pleasurable for a man, or how to get him to give it to his woman more often?

First and foremost forget about the ''no BJ until he delivers'' theory. Sex shouldn't be about keeping a score. It should be about giving and receiving pleasure and getting as much satisfaction on either end of that scale.)

Tips for you doing it to him:

1. Act like you want to be there. A woman who's performing simply because she has to is the number-one passion killer.

2. Don't bite (unless he asks for it). Keep your teeth covered at all times with your lips.

3. Don't be too rough. Yanking back the foreskin, sucking too hard, pumping up and down like you're trying to draw water from a dry well ... it ain't nice!

4. Educate yourself. My book has pages of instruction on how to do it well. You've made a great start here by asking and getting advice from everyone. The more you find out and read up about, the better.

5. Don't act as if semen is poison. You don't have to swallow, but you don't need to run out of the room either. Don't leave him in the lurch -- switch to using your hand or let him leave a little mess elsewhere on your body.

Tips to get him to do it to you more often:

1. Let him know how much you love it. Give him loads and loads of feedback. Tell him how fantastic he is.

2. Make sure you smell and taste great. Shower beforehand, and watch the garlic consumption. (Yup, it doesn't just show up on your breath.)

3. Ask him to make love to you. Say, ''Honey, I want to feel your tongue on me''. Push his head down. Make it very clear you'd like it more often.

4. Ask him why he doesn't do it as often as you'd like. There might be a good reason, like his tongue gets tired or his neck gets cramped -- all easily fixed by different techniques or different positions.

5. Only when you have tried all of the above and talked about it are you allowed to point out, gently but firmly, that it seems awfully unfair for you to try so hard to give him pleasure if he's not going to return the favor. Again, I don't support making threats, but it is certainly acceptable to point out the unfairness of it all.

Woman-Friendly Products That Enhance Your Sex Life

Want to take your love life from zero to sexy? Then let's talk toys! I'll explain why a sex shop is an even better place to splurge than your most-loved shoe store. Plus, I've compiled a list of woman-friendly favorite products you'll love.

Shopping for sex toys is one of the few areas of sexual experimentation where women are far more adventurous than men. Yes, it's shopping (which explains a lot), and we're suckers for anything shiny, pink and playful, which many sex toys are. But most importantly, for a number of us, the humble vibrator is also our most reliable means of orgasm.

Men, on the other hand, are slightly more apprehensive: They tend to see vibrators as "replacements," rather than supplements, to a sex life. It's true that our buzz buddies do occasionally help us achieve orgasms more efficiently than our partner. However, there are still good reasons why he should be smiling supportively when you walk through the front door with an oddly shaped parcel in a discreet, dark bag (looking like the cat that swallowed the canary). After all, sex toys are, just as the name suggests, toys, things to play with for a bit of fun ‑- and have fun you will. [Editor's note: If your man isn't convinced, Tracey wrote a column just for him.]

Choosing a Sex ShopPick a place to suit your mood: A sleazy shop if you're feeling down and dirty or a "posh" shop if you want to go a swankier route. If you're paranoid that his mother or your nosy big sister will be walking down the street as you head in or out of the store, choose one in an area they're unlikely to visit. If you get caught by friends and they look at all shocked, just laugh and launch into a funny story of what happened in there; it will make them look prudish while you and your partner appear liberated and terribly cool.

Picking Out Your Products

Research suggests that around 10 percent of adults use sex toys regularly, but I'd put that figure much higher. In fact, about 60 percent of my girlfriends own at least one vibrator (not to mention all the other stuff they're not admitting to). You can go online to decide on your toys of choice, of course, if you're shy (and yes, they will arrive in unmarked packaging, not a box that screams "10-inch throbbing dildo!"). But I'd highly recommend that you and your guy visit a reputable sex shop together ‑- even if you just go once ‑- simply because you can hold and touch the products. It's also a naughty, sexy bonding experience that might turn you both on more than you can imagine! But since both ways of shopping can be very intimidating and overwhelming, I've compiled a list of favorite things to get you started:

Vibrators: Every woman's best friends, vibrators come in all shapes and sizes, from tiny buzzing "lipsticks" to enormous, penis-shaped devices. Narrow the selection by deciding what you want from yours: If it's for masturbation and you prefer penetration with clitoral stimulation, go for one of the "Rabbits," as featured in Sex and the City, a penis-shaped vibrator with a clitoral attachment. "Wand" vibrators, small cylindrical vibrators that you hold against the clitoris, are also great and ideal for use during intercourse. For more powerful vibration on the clitoris, opt for one that looks like a back massager, large with a big rounded head, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand.

The small, hard plastic ones offer better vibration, while the jellylike rubber or silicone varieties have weaker vibration but feel nicer. Make sure you get one with variable speed. Test how quiet it is, and be sure it's waterproof if you want to use it in the bath or shower. You'll also find "gadget"-type vibrators, ones with and without remote controls that are disguised as everyday objects. Such models are fun ‑- but only in addition to, not in place of staple purchases.

Dildos: These are basically imitation penises that come in a range of sizes. The difference between a dildo and a vibrator is that dildos don't vibrate. Usually made of rubber, they're sometimes "S" shaped for G-spot stimulation. If you like the feeling of fullness, they're good to insert during oral sex. You'll also see strap-on versions called harnesses. By attaching them to your body, you can transform female into male instantly: the ultimate gender-bender. These are handy for lesbians who like penetration, for men who are into anal penetration and for fantasy role-play. Some harnesses have a second dildo which fits inside the vagina or anus.

Nipple Clamps: S & M devotees adore these because they create the sensation of pinching and pain. The rest of us look at them, think Ouch! and move back to the warm, fuzzy vibrator section.

Pelvic Floor Toners: The more toned your vaginal muscles are, the better sex will be for both of you since you'll be able to grip his penis tighter. You can rhythmically squeeze the muscles, doing repetitive sets called Kegel exercises without inserting one of these gadgets. But having something to grip increases the odds that you're doing the exercises correctly. Most pelvic floor toners resemble tiny barbells. They're highly recommended after childbirth but handy for anyone, really.

Penis Rings: He slips one of these rubber, leather or metal rings onto a flaccid or semierect penis. Because the ring is tight, it traps blood in the penis, helping maintain a stronger erection for longer. If he's a little on the, ahem, small side, he'll probably like it because they make the penis look and feel bigger. The only problem is, men with smaller penises tend to be premature ejaculators (not very fair, but it's because the penis head has roughly the same amount of nerves, and they're more concentrated over a smaller surface). So consider yourself warned: Since penis rings tend to increase sensitivity, he could orgasm sooner than usual. (Gain some, lose some.) If you want to try one, opt for rubber first (leather is more expensive and metal a bit scary), but make sure it will fit snugly around the penis. Also, don't leave it on for more than 20 minutes, and whatever you do, remove it before you snuggle up for the night.

Vibrating Penis Rings: These are generally made of rubber and have little vibrators attached for clitoral stimulation. In order for them to work effectively he should use a grinding, circular thrusting motion during intercourse, rather than the traditional in-out motion, to keep the little vibrator in as much contact with the clitoris as possible. Despite the extra effort required, they're well worth a try ‑- and inexpensive as well.

Blindfolds: You know what these are and exactly what to do with them! You can make a blindfold out of anything, but fancy ones are good for role-play and dress-up.

Whips and Riding Crops: All used for spanking and not nearly as threatening as you'd imagine, many of these make menacing sounds but land with a whisper-soft touch ‑- perfect for role-play. Riding crops, for example, come in pretty colors, but with a serious expression on your face, you'll be the one in charge.

S & M Gear: Those dangerous-looking studded collars, leather outfits and masks are sometimes enough to send people back out the sex shop door. But if you're intrigued rather than intimidated, start off with some handcuffs or a studded collar. If that really does it for you, then work your way up to the complete leather get-up and serious bondage gear. It can cost a fortune.

Dress-Up Clothes: Nurses' outfits, baby-doll lingerie, one-piece catsuits... They're straight out of the '80s and tons of fun. Be warned, though: You'll pay through the nose for them in a sex shop, and they're not very well made. But if you've got the cash and you like the look of them, why not?

Porn and Erotica: Porn has come a long way since Debbie Does Dallas. While traditional male porn still dominates most video sections, there are many films made by women for women (read: smart, fun and clever).

Where Naomi lay Disappointed Her Parents

NAUGHTY Apprentice Naomi Lay last night told of her anquish when her mum and dad found out in the News of the World about her sexy video romp.
Speaking of her shame about making the explicit movie, she said: "My parents choked on their cornflakes when they read about the tape. It was very unpleasant. But what happened has happened—I can't dwell on it."
The filthy footage—filmed over three days in 2004—shows blonde Naomi, 26, in kinky positions and enjoying oral sex with a former lover.
But she says says the Pammi Anderson-type tape leaking out has actually strengthened her relationship with present boyfriend Mathew Hahn.
She said: "He is very proud of me regardless. It's not a problem. We're very happy together."
Now Naomi plans to take legal action to ban the tape, which has become the talk of the internet.
But she says she has no hard feelings after being fired by by Sir Alan Sugar in The Apprentice this week.
She said: "I think he is a very wise businessman, but Sir Alan and I are massive opposites. I'm quite a fluffy person and he's definitely not."
Naomi, from Cornwall, also revealed she wanted to slap the show's biggest bitch, Katie. She fumed: "She called me a dog. At one point she even compared me to a Labrador!"

Michael Jackson's Child Porn Collection For Sale

Michael Jackson is trying to stop an auction of his former possessions - which are alleged to include paintings of naked boys.

The troubled pop star has taken out a temporary restraining order against Richard Altomare to block the planned sale, arguing he is the rightful owner.

Altmore, Chairman of Universal Express, claims he received 20,000 items from Jackson's former business partner Henry Vacaro as part of a bankruptcy case last year, and they include the "salacious" art pieces as well as "some of his whitening creams, [and] some sex aids".

He threatens Jackson's legal action could prove counterproductive.

He is quoted in the Metro as saying, "This stuff we have kept from the auction out of respect to Mr Jackson. The guy has troubles.

"We all have skeletons in the closet and, if Michael hadn't put up a fuss, I might have quietly, discreetly, just given it to him. I've already been offered $50 million for it privately."

The auction is due to take place at the Hard Rock Hotel and in Las Vegas on 30 May.

In an unusual and unique interpertation of the law criminalizing child pornography, artistic works, art or artist interpretations of minors in nude or sexual situations may be construed as 'art' and thus not - necessarily - criminal.

Apparently the mega-star, King of Pop and repeatedly acused child molestor Michael Jackson is willing to test these boundries in the name of art - not to mention the sexual aids he seeks to protect.

The welfare of Jackson's chilren has been an issue since his first child molestation trial. Jackson choose to live in Bahrain and is rumored to have converted to Islam.

The pop star has been photographed in female Muslim garb also raising controversy.

The Most Wicked Issue in American Politics

John Neffinger

You might have thought the first abortion decision rendered by our new Supreme Court (Opus Dei edition) would generate a firestorm of commentary, especially if it might significantly limit late-term abortion rights.

Instead, the reaction to the recent decision upholding the "Partial-Birth" abortion ban has been decidedly muted. A handful of writers tackled some of the decision's implications (Jill Filipovic had a good piece in HuffPost the next day). But the bitterest voice to be heard was that of Justice Ginsburg herself, who called it "alarming."

So why did no one seem alarmed? For starters, it had been a rough week. Everywhere you looked there were images from the carnival of violence at Virginia Tech -- the shooter's face twisted in hatred, him posing with his guns and hammer (hammer?), diagrams and reenactments of what it must have been like in those classrooms.

But I suspect there's another reason we hesitated to jump back into the breach. Reading about the abortion decision, it was hard not to think: "Oh no, not this again." The issue of abortion rights is just more upsetting, more depressing and meaner than any other issue in American politics. Nothing else quite compares.

As horrible as the Virginia Tech shooting was, we could at least all share our grief. True, the inevitable gun control debate followed: should bad guys be disarmed or should good guys be armed to shoot first? But both sides at least agree that non-threatening innocents should not get shot.

The conflict over abortion has no bottom -- no matter how deep you dig, there's no place both sides can come together and recognize one another's humanity. In part, that's because of the biology: in an unwanted pregnancy, the woman's interest is for the fetus to cease to exist entirely, while the fetus' presumed interest is for the woman to endure weeks of sickness and unwelcome bodily transformation, followed by many hours of incredible pain... followed by years of hard work, emotional strain, expense, and responsibility. As long as you have people eager to speak on behalf of a fetus as if it was a whole person, those are some seriously irreconcilable differences.

You might think that both sides could at least agree on preventing unwanted pregnancies. But that's where things get weird. It turns out the hard-core anti-choice folks don't actually care so much about preventing fetal suffering: Despite all the studies proving that improving birth control access and teaching adolescents about sex reduces unwanted pregnancies, serious "Pro-lifers" oppose these ideas, and vigorously.

So what are they after? Apparently, the heart of the matter for hard-core anti-choice folks is that sex should only be for making babies. That means it's only for married people, and kids have no business knowing about it. That part of their vision has some appeal in our dizzyingly hypersexualized culture, as unrealistic as it is. But the other corollary is that all pregnancies should be carried to term, either as a blessed gift to a happy family... or as divine punishment for a loose woman.

I doubt that New York Times columnist David Brooks is among those who secretly yearn to outlaw premarital sex, but he did celebrate the Court's decision with a paean to the fetus in last Sunday's paper. His piece lovingly detailed the science on fetal brain cell growth and eye development and what not, and then closed with a call for a 'sensible' approach to abortion -- featuring parental consent requirements for minors. The thing is, to come up with a sensible compromise, you first need to make sense of both the positions you're compromising between.

From a broad public-policy view, parental choice laws make no particular sense. As a general rule, children should not be having children because they are not prepared to raise children. Do we really want laws that make it more difficult to keep children from having children? If abortion is allowed for anyone, doesn't it make the most sense for unhappily pregnant teens? And since a teen generally does not need her parents' consent to have a kid, why exactly should she need their consent not to?

But this debate does not happen in the realm of logic. Parental consent laws appeal to parents' primal fear that their kids are having sex and getting in trouble and they're the last to know. Debates on the issue typically invoke the image of a solid middle-class family with a rebellious teen girl who falls in with a bad crowd and needs to be set straight. And that's about where the thinking stops.

Sometimes that's the reality of teen pregnancy: a loving, understanding family, and a kid who either made some stupid decisions or had birth control fail them. And in some of those cases, a parental consent law might be just the thing to nudge the reluctant teen to have a much-needed heart-to-heart with her parents.

Of course most teens in that rosy scenario will turn to a trusted parent anyway. But what happens when the scenario is less rosy? Tolstoy said every happy family is the same but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way: that makes for a lot of heavy issues for this law to get mixed up in. What if the parents are abusive? What if they choose to punish their daughter for her misbehavior by withholding consent, and maybe throwing her out of the house? Or what if they just would have preferred not to know?

Then there's the scenario nearest to the hearts of anti-choice advocates: what if the parents are anti-choice? Should they be able to force their daughter to give birth? Imagine the decision resting with a pregnant teen's father. He has never voluntarily endured anything as painful as childbirth (unless he's undergone elite military training to resist torture, or maybe starred in a Jackass movie). Should he have the right to force that on his daughter, when she wants to have an abortion and get on with her life?

Many years ago, a friend of mine had a condom break on her with a new boyfriend and ended up pregnant. Although I do think it is vitally important for stories like these to be shared, the particulars of her story are not mine to tell. Suffice it to say that the decision-maker in her family believed strongly that abortion was a sin. Thankfully, nobody had passed any "sensible" parental consent laws back then, and my friend, while deeply upset and chastened by the ordeal, ended her pregnancy safely and legally and finished school. Today she is professionally successful, happily married, and a loving mother.

I wonder what David Brooks would say about a situation like my friend's. Or what Justice Kennedy would say, for that matter. Might they surprise us, take a fresh look at the issue, even a little? Perhaps, perhaps not.

What we do know is this debate will be won or lost on whether people empathize with the developing fetus or the pregnant woman (or girl). And as long as it's all about the fetus, as long as women's stories are still not being heard, women (and the women and men who love them) lose.

Chinese Police Nabs 21-year-old Student For Operating Porn Web Sites

Chinese police this week said they had arrested a 21-year-old student for running five pornographic Web sites with 210,000 registered users, amid a nationwide crackdown on online pornography that authorities say is "perverting China's young minds."

The student, only identified as Zhu, was detained in the eastern province of Shandong on April 12, after he was suspected of operating five porn sites, containing almost 170,000 pornographic images and obscene movie clips, the Ministry of Public Security announced.

About 210,000 people had signed up to the porn sites Zhu allegedly operated - "Demon's Island", "Global Beauty Pictures", "Community of Bloom", "Moon Alliance" and "Pretty Vines", the police said.

Police also announced on Thursday that they had closed 1,450 porn Web sites and deleted more than 30,000 obscene messages online since the government launched a nationwide campaign to curb the spread of pornography on the Internet on April 12.

Nearly 30 serious porn cases were cracked, the police said, but did not give more details.

The campaign, expected to last six months, will target illegal online activities such as distributing pornographic materials and organizing cyber strip shows, and purge the Web of sexually-explicit images, stories, and audio and video clips, according to Zhang Xinfeng, vice minister of public security.

China had 137 million Internet users at the end of 2006, with most of being young people. The current massive campaign was launched as the government believes the young people need to be protected from negative online influences.

A report by the Beijing Reformatory for Juvenile Delinquents said 33.5 percent of its detainees were influenced by violent online games or erotic Web sites when they committed crimes such as robbery and rape.

6 Body Language Clues That Say You're Interested

EVE MARX

Birds do it, bees do it, old people, young people, everyone does it. What is "it," you ask? Flirt! And we bet you didn't know that some of the best flirting can be done without saying a word. Body language is one surefire way to convey your interest ‑- or lack thereof ‑- in a man. But how can you be sure you're sending the right signals? Eve Marx, author of Read My Hips: The Sexy Art of Flirtation, shows how to be completely in control of your flirtatious moves. So whether you're a wallflower dying to let loose or a flirting pro looking to brush up on your skills, follow these six body language clues, and he'll be putty in your hands.

Your body speaks a language all its own. Without realizing it, how you sit, what you do with your hands, your legs, even your basic posture reveals volumes about you, namely what you're feeling, what you might be thinking and, most importantly, if that guy sitting across from you is getting to you.

The thing about body language is you want to be completely in control of it. You want to be aware of what messages you're sending and avoid telegraphing certain information you're not ready to give away. Dumb as they may seem sometimes, men are not exactly knuckleheads when it comes to interpreting a woman's body language. Any reasonably perceptive and intuitive guy you're flirting with is reading many things about you simply by studying your movements.

You can utilize your body language to your own advantage by transmitting only the messages you want him to receive, which gives you the upper hand. Body language has a lot in common with cell phone text messaging. It's shorthand information, meaning it's quick, direct and gets to the point.

Body Language Basics

Without even thinking about it, women almost always give physical tips that convey their level of interest in a man. The most common body language gestures that reveal at least minimal interest are hair twirling, hair tossing and leg crossing. When a woman tosses her hair, it comes across as a nervous gesture. What it tells the man is, he's making her a bit nervous. And to his mind, if she's nervous, she must be interested!

On the other hand, hair tossing, like leg crossing, is also a preening gesture. It's a way of calling attention or showing off a gorgeous, glossy mane (very sexy) or a terrific pair of gams (ditto, also very sexy!). But there are many other elemental gestures and basic postures that send a strong message to another person, all of which can be used to good effect.

Let's get started describing and interpreting them!

Eye Contact

Usually the first way two people connect is through looking into each other's eyes. Before either of you speaks a single word, the eyes have already telegraphed messages. Messages can range from frank curiosity to cool assessment to shy interest. When you look deeply into a guy's eyes, you're telling him you think he's the most fascinating person in the room. In fact, if you keep your eyes locked on his, what you're saying is that as far as you're concerned, he's the only person in the room!

Full frontal eye contact can be risky, however. It can seem too bold and brazen to those men who are put off by such direct behavior by women. But if you're not the bashful maiden type, frankly gaze. In a way, it's a form of natural selection. A guy who is freaked out by your open gaze is probably not a guy for you.

Arm Crossing

When a woman crosses her arms over her chest, it can be interpreted in a number of ways by a guy. It can telegraph the message that she's a vulnerable female creature, an innocent little lamb who feels the need to protect herself from the Big Bad Wolf!

But arm crossing is also a way of telling a guy that you don't like him at all and that your fondest wish at the moment is that he'll go away.

Crossing your arms over your chest is also a sneaky way of drawing attention to your breasts. It's a primitive gesture of sexual anticipation laced with sexual anxiety, which a man might correctly read as the woman's acknowledgement of the basic Me Tarzan, You Jane chemistry happening between them.

Leaning Toward Him

The most common form of this is leaning forward when you're sitting across from him. This gesture shows interest and acceptance. In short, it means you just think he's the funniest, cutest, most fascinating creature put on the face of this earth.

But keep your poker face, player-girl! If you go overboard with the lean, you're giving away your whole hand. You want to keep him guessing at least a little bit, right?

If you catch yourself practically falling into his lap, take a deep breath, sit back in your seat and rest your hands in your lap for a few minutes ‑- at least until you cool off.

If you find yourself leaning away from him, you're either telling him you hate his guts or you're working overtime to not let him know you're all hot and bothered for him.

Leg Crossing

Leg crossing can be interpreted as a nervous or provocative gesture. Lots of people unconsciously cross and uncross their legs when they're anxious. If you're doing this, the man will correctly intuit that he's somehow "getting" to you. In other words, it's a dead giveaway to the guy that he's unsettled you and his energy has thrown off your equilibrium. On the other hand, if you're deliberately crossing your legs to show off your sexy gams, or deliberately pointing your top leg in his direction, it means you like him a lot. If you can't stop crossing your legs and you're virtually twitching in your seat, again this is an unconscious gesture that clearly tells a man that he's really getting to you. You probably don't want to give him that much power. If he knows you're burning hot for him, he has the upper hand ‑- and you don't want that. If something about him has really got you squirming, get up, take a walk or go home and take a cold shower.

Hair Twirling

Toying with your hair is a sure sign of nervousness. If you find yourself doing this, take a moment to ask yourself why this guy is making you nervous. Is it because he's too handsome? Too incredibly clever? Is it because you can't get your mind out of the gutter imagining what he would be like in bed? Save your agitation for later ‑- like when you finally fall asleep and have a red-hot dream about him!

Hair twirling can also be a playful gesture. Women with long hair tend to play with their hair. Hair is sexy and twirling and tossing it draws a man's eye to it. But beware: Many guys say it really bugs them when women keep playing with their hair. Talk about sending the wrong message! What some women think is sexy is a major turnoff to some guys.

Lip Licking

This is purely physiological. Forget what they say about "drooling" over a hot guy. When we're aroused and excited, our mouths get dry. If you find yourself licking your lips a lot in the company of a new man, it means that something about him is really getting to you. Watch out!

Lip licking clearly conveys the message that you're interested in a man. It is a very sexy, and overt, type of body language ‑- that is, if it is done correctly. What we are talking about here is a slow, sultry swipe along your lips with the tip of your tongue. Just remember to use this one with caution. Your Flirt Object will probably think you are telling him you want to take him to bed. And maybe you do! If that's the case and you're both equally interested, by all means, lick your lips. It's another way of saying, "Let's go back to your place right now." In other words, it's an action-getter.

Flared Nostrils

Omigod, this is the mother of all body language signals! Flared nostrils are an irrefutable sign of sexual arousal. If you're talking to a man and his nostrils are flaring, you can bet your booty he's achin' for you. And, um, it works vice versa. If your nostrils are flaring, your nipples are probably hard, too. If you're flirting with a guy and you've both got the nostril thing going, look out. You might have to rent a hotel room!