How to... tell if she's real or fake

You've probably wondered this more than a few times while checking out a girl at the bar.

Well, since you can't just outright grab her, and since you don't know her well enough to ask, you're going to have to rely on the telltale signs, which can be hard to spot.

Here are the things to look for (through her clothes of course) that will let you know if she's the real McCoy or not.

Unnatural shape
Most breasts aren't perfect orbs and they usually aren't identical. Be on the lookout for the way they hold in place as she moves around (especially her arms), and how they stay almost the same dimension - instead of flattening out - whether she reaches back or even stretches. Furthermore, when she bends over, you should see them fall if they're real.

Bubbly look
On the topic of odd breast shapes look to see if the top of her breasts are bubbled. Fake boobs defy gravity, so they might look like they're bubbling up. Natural breasts follow a more natural sliding curve line from top to bottom.

Overly firm
Real breasts are mostly fat, which gives them a jiggle quality; if they look more like solid muscle, you may be in the presence of a pair of fake ones.

If they look like balloons that are about to burst, beware. Real boobs do grow with weight gain, but the skin has time to grow with the fat.

High up (if she's not wearing a bra)
Breasts should be at about armpit height. But some bad breast jobs start them way too high on the chest, as if she's got two flotation devices strapped to her chin.

If a woman is not wearing a bra and adorns C-sized orbs that stand up, then it's pretty easy to figure out. The hard ones to pick out are the B cups. They can look real but then you need to spot small abnormalities that a normal breast wouldn't have.

Too far apart
If you can fit your fist between her breasts, they're probably fake (think Tori Spelling). The doctor should have scraped the pectoral tendons to give them a more natural emplacement, but didn't.

Stretch marks
Alright, so not always visible through clothes but maybe if she’s wearing a skimpy top. This usually stems from the surgery. Skin stretches as we grow, but stretched skin can also leaves marks - usually little red lines. If she went too big or her doctor wasn't that great, you might spot the stretch marks.

However, this doesn’t necessarily mean they’re fake, if she's a yo-yo dieter, she may have gained and lost a bunch of weight, which would also cause stretch marks.

Watch out for the padded bra
A padded bra does two things that fake boobs do: It enhances the size and it fights gravity.

In the cases of a padded bra, a trained eye can see how the breast fills it. If it is filled out and looks very firm, then there's a good chance that they're fake. That likeliness drops if the bra is too small and is overfilled.

Then again, in that case, fake breasts will still keep a good shape whereas the real ones might overflow in the bra.