Bob and Marla had been married twelve years. Each could remember those first months of urgent passion, the electricity of even accidental touch, the glorious rolls in the hay. When did the heat begin to fade to a pleasant, yet, let's admit it, tedious sex life, despite the vacations intended to rekindle the fire and the books and courses on hot marriage?
As they observed the antics of the singles in their social group constantly changing partners and living and re-living those initial passionate times, Bob and Marla wondered whether there was any way to have more passion in their basically sound and loving relationship. And then they discovered something called Expanded Orgasm, and it profoundly changed their lives and relationship forever.
What is Expanded Orgasm? Most people have a pretty consistent idea of what an orgasm is: a big wave or even explosion of pleasurable sensation pretty much focused in the genitals (the word comes from the Greek orge, meaning an outburst). Sexologists tell us that physically an orgasm, for both men and women, is accompanied by a sudden increase in traffic over the sensory nerves in the pelvis and 8-10 contractions of muscles in the pelvic organs. Each contraction lasts less than a second. The salient features of regular orgasm include:
- Genital stimulation
- Major wave or explosion of pleasurable sensation
- Felt mostly in the genital area
- Brief - less than 10 seconds or so
- Followed by a let-down period with temporary lack of interest in more orgasms
Some people (usually but not always women) can have multiple orgasms, climbing to one or more additional peaks shortly following the let-down period after a regular orgasm.
Things really start to get interesting with extended orgasm. Usually accessed by a combination of genital and G-area touch, a person in extended orgasm rides the waves of orgasmic energy to successively higher peaks but does not crest over and topple into the let-down period. Extended orgasm is like surfing a succession of ever-higher waves, and involves learning to ride the orgasmic energy for long periods of time, often over an hour. Think of filling a container in such a way that not only does the container become more full, it actually expands its own bounderies.
Like extended orgasm, the expansion can occur in time (expanded orgasms can last for hours). But the distinguishing expansion is in the sense of space. There is the sense of one's entire body having the orgasm, of reaching for an even larger body in which to put all that orgasmic pleasure.
Let's hear about expanded orgasm from Marla and Bob:
Marla: "It's so marvelously different now when Bob gives me pleasure. He starts to touch me with a certain knowing way that gets me turned on in two or three strokes. From this first contact my genitals feel a delicious melting sensation that then radiates outwards. First my pelvis, abdomen, and loins feel tingly. As he keeps touching me in that perfect place my whole body fills with sensation. Soon I am vibrating ecstatically from head to toe and he could touch me anywhere and it would be orgasmic. I now feel so filled up from our lovemaking.”
Bob: "As a man I had learned as a child how to get off quick. I was wired to find the orgasm road and to stay on it until I burst. I had to learn to feel the pleasure in my entire body. But now I feel like I can come in every cell and the pleasure is much greater than any regular orgasm. I appreciate Marla so much more! She can give me so much more pleasure than I had ever dreamed."
Let's compare regular with expanded orgasm:
Regular orgasm: It's goal oriented. It feels extremely good, but only for a few seconds and there is often a physical and mental let-down period immediately afterwards. It can be an effective tension release and, of course, it can create a sense of bonding with your partner.
Expanded orgasm: The goal is simply to feel as much of that compelling pleasure as possible. Many people use expanded orgasm to access expanded or non-ordinary states of awareness to achieve a sense of wholeness. They report effects of expanded orgasm sessions in the rest of their lives. The sense of connection that's reported with themselves and their partners can be profound and life-changing.
What are the Benefits of Expanded Orgasm?
Unfortunately the benefits of any form of orgasm have not been well studied. It seems we are much more willing to study pain than pleasure. However, there are definite physiological, hormonal, and biochemical changes associated with regular orgasm and there are reported benefits for extended and expanded orgasm. Some of the fascinating reported benefits of expanded orgasm (now beginning to be studied) include:
- Reduction in sympathetic (adrenaline-like) nervous function
- Increase in parasympathetic (associated with relaxation and well-being) function
- A balance between the two yin/yang functions of the nervous system
- A release of beneficial hormones and balancing of their levels
- A sense of peace, wholeness, and well-being
- A sense of mental clarity and increased ability to solve problems intuitively and in new ways
- Strengthened self-esteem and an increased sense of power and effectiveness in life
- A sense of heightened spirituality
- And a lot more fun!
If you are already orgasmic then to learning to receive expanded orgasm is a matter of practice and of allowing yourself to surrender to ever increasing amounts of sensation and pleasure. Just knowing it is possible and attainable is an excellent first step. Learning to give expanded orgasms also requires some education and training. It is essential to know the degree of pleasure that is possible to give to another person and how to experience their pleasure. The giver learns how to put all of his or her attention on the partner while giving the expanded orgasm. It will feel just as good to the receiver as to the giver.
The Video: Expand Her Orgasm Tonight! A Pleasurable Program for Partners demonstrates to men and women both what is possible to experience and how to get started. While the focus in the tape is on giving pleasure to a woman the concepts and techniques apply equally to both sexes.